Carl's Jr.
Music: Sarah Brightman
I've recently discovered that the tube things that little kids play in @ fast food restaurants will hold adults...(Kathy says for parents that chase after kids) John is one of those kids that's hard to say no to, so of course, I had to accompany him in the fun today @ Carl's Jr. It was fun, I have to admit, and it was a very, uh, unique feeling to feel that free, even w/ people watching. Why can't that transfer over into music, where I need it the most?
Got $50, so that's cool, as well. Dvorak tomorrow @ noon concert. Should be fun.
As I seem to be doing whenever I have time, I was, of course, thinking about Doug. I realized that this past summer when I was "in love" w/ him (another discussion), I've never felt so lonely, confused, or 'vulnerable' from what I can remember. Is really liking someone that much supposed to feel like that? I know he couldn't really do anything about it per say, but it really hurt a lot. I remember feeling so stupid for letting that side of me get the best of my rational thinking-I mean, the whole point of the trip was for music, not to get attached to someone that much; in terms of Sarah and Creel, well, I don't know. They both have more experience in that field, but in my own personal case, I know that it wasn't the smartest thing to do. However, I just hope that if by some strange chance in the galactic empire Doug reads this that I don't offend him, as I'm sooo happy we're still really good friends, but I'm just pissed @ myself for letting other things come in the way of my concentration @ the time. (It's over, yeah, but it never hurts to try and organize one's thoughts...) However, I still want to know why I feel "over" him but not; I really wish emotions/"feelings" were voluntary things...Ai!!
I've recently discovered that the tube things that little kids play in @ fast food restaurants will hold adults...(Kathy says for parents that chase after kids) John is one of those kids that's hard to say no to, so of course, I had to accompany him in the fun today @ Carl's Jr. It was fun, I have to admit, and it was a very, uh, unique feeling to feel that free, even w/ people watching. Why can't that transfer over into music, where I need it the most?
Got $50, so that's cool, as well. Dvorak tomorrow @ noon concert. Should be fun.
As I seem to be doing whenever I have time, I was, of course, thinking about Doug. I realized that this past summer when I was "in love" w/ him (another discussion), I've never felt so lonely, confused, or 'vulnerable' from what I can remember. Is really liking someone that much supposed to feel like that? I know he couldn't really do anything about it per say, but it really hurt a lot. I remember feeling so stupid for letting that side of me get the best of my rational thinking-I mean, the whole point of the trip was for music, not to get attached to someone that much; in terms of Sarah and Creel, well, I don't know. They both have more experience in that field, but in my own personal case, I know that it wasn't the smartest thing to do. However, I just hope that if by some strange chance in the galactic empire Doug reads this that I don't offend him, as I'm sooo happy we're still really good friends, but I'm just pissed @ myself for letting other things come in the way of my concentration @ the time. (It's over, yeah, but it never hurts to try and organize one's thoughts...) However, I still want to know why I feel "over" him but not; I really wish emotions/"feelings" were voluntary things...Ai!!
posted by CW at 11:43 PM
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