Recital: 10+ Personal Life: 4ish
A quick update:
The Recital: FABULOUS!! I don't have the time to describe how great it went and how I really enjoyed playing in front of the audience. The Telemann and Nancy's piece were great, even more so, considering that our first rehearsals were right before the concert. My outfit was awesome (Thanx to Adam & Banana Republic) and I had amazing reeds that will now be used in the studio. The chocolate was a hit and Allan has had nothing to say except good things to me ever since. I've also been making a bajillion copies to send to people. The only things I wish were better were the H20 in my keys, missing a few high D's, the runs in the development of the Hummel, and the intonation of the last high F. But, I'm totally happy to send out the recording as is. The Beethoven was the best piece, in my opinion - it was virtually flawless.
The Parents' Visit: Fabulous as well - they love all of my friends and it was great to see them and feel like myself again. Too bad they were both a little sick!
My Personal Life: So far, so good, for the most part. The last 2 nights I've felt incredibly lonely and really down, almost to the point of tears, and I'm not sure why. I found myself wanting a boyfriend/solid relationship last night as I lay in bed, which isn't a good thing. I need to relearn how to be independent and not rely on anyone except myself and my parents. People will only let you down, so it's best to keep things on a professional level as much as possible. I'm not really sure how to scale back from Adam, though - I STILL feel pulled in 2 seperate directions - one side wants to keep things the way they are and how close we are, while the other wants to scale things back to a more acquaintance/professional level, so I can concentrate on me and what I need to do in the time I have left here @ CalArts. Is there an end to this that will be the best solution for everyone involved? If so, I must be blind, deaf, and dumb to not see it. Oi Vey!
Oboe Life: Feeling really good - trying to take a break, though I worked on reeds w/ Adam and Sydne for about 2 hours last night. However, now that I feel like a decent oboist, maybe that will change with time.
For now: Going to dinner w/ Adam and Blake @ Buoco, probably some BSG, and then hanging w/ Blake and Mr. Happy. Should be an eventful evening. I totally skipped both classes today, which, of course, wasn't a good idea, but oh well. To hell with it. Is it really bad that I still love him and that more than ever I wish he loved and wanted me? Why do I feel like I've completely undone everything? I MUST be really naive and stupid to keep repeating myself, even in here, where it's allowed. Maybe some good Italian will help...
The Recital: FABULOUS!! I don't have the time to describe how great it went and how I really enjoyed playing in front of the audience. The Telemann and Nancy's piece were great, even more so, considering that our first rehearsals were right before the concert. My outfit was awesome (Thanx to Adam & Banana Republic) and I had amazing reeds that will now be used in the studio. The chocolate was a hit and Allan has had nothing to say except good things to me ever since. I've also been making a bajillion copies to send to people. The only things I wish were better were the H20 in my keys, missing a few high D's, the runs in the development of the Hummel, and the intonation of the last high F. But, I'm totally happy to send out the recording as is. The Beethoven was the best piece, in my opinion - it was virtually flawless.
The Parents' Visit: Fabulous as well - they love all of my friends and it was great to see them and feel like myself again. Too bad they were both a little sick!
My Personal Life: So far, so good, for the most part. The last 2 nights I've felt incredibly lonely and really down, almost to the point of tears, and I'm not sure why. I found myself wanting a boyfriend/solid relationship last night as I lay in bed, which isn't a good thing. I need to relearn how to be independent and not rely on anyone except myself and my parents. People will only let you down, so it's best to keep things on a professional level as much as possible. I'm not really sure how to scale back from Adam, though - I STILL feel pulled in 2 seperate directions - one side wants to keep things the way they are and how close we are, while the other wants to scale things back to a more acquaintance/professional level, so I can concentrate on me and what I need to do in the time I have left here @ CalArts. Is there an end to this that will be the best solution for everyone involved? If so, I must be blind, deaf, and dumb to not see it. Oi Vey!
Oboe Life: Feeling really good - trying to take a break, though I worked on reeds w/ Adam and Sydne for about 2 hours last night. However, now that I feel like a decent oboist, maybe that will change with time.
For now: Going to dinner w/ Adam and Blake @ Buoco, probably some BSG, and then hanging w/ Blake and Mr. Happy. Should be an eventful evening. I totally skipped both classes today, which, of course, wasn't a good idea, but oh well. To hell with it. Is it really bad that I still love him and that more than ever I wish he loved and wanted me? Why do I feel like I've completely undone everything? I MUST be really naive and stupid to keep repeating myself, even in here, where it's allowed. Maybe some good Italian will help...
posted by CW at 6:22 PM
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