I'm confused...
A quick update before class:
~ I'm still feeling screwed up in my head and it's getting damn annoying because I feel like I can't concentrate and that I'm constantly distracted by a million other things, including this stupid fantasy career I keep seeing in my head. I feel really irresponsible, inconsistent, and in general, a complete mess for having all these ideas, but almost no work ethic - I don't get it - why do I suddenly feel so lazy? Will someone please give me a straight, hardcore truthful answer to my mental state? Wahhh!!
~ Part of me thinx that my current mental situation (see above point) is partially due to the fact that I just want to live for awhile and get myself established out here before embarking on this journey we call school. I mean, I feel well-established back in Michigan, for the obvious reasons; I know I pretty much have an identity there, however, here, I sometimes feel like I don't have one yet, and, yes, I know that's part of the college life experience, but I can't shake the feeling that it's not right that I don't have a more solid foundation on which to base myself. Chrisitanity isn't going to do it, either, for the again obvious reasons. To reiterate my point of just wanting to live, well, that's pretty much it. I just wish I had the opportunity to take some time to just work, get some money for myself, and more or less get a little more settled in out here; or, in less words, become more independent, and in the process, enjoy myself a little, when needed. I guess "Amarantine" fits here, perfectly...
With regards to music in this topic, I just want to play and not worry about anything else. I just want to play, and not think about analyzing anything; just concentrate on making the music the best I can. Is this wrong? I mean, I know class is important and that I'm being challenged, but why am I not enjoying it as much as last year?
I guess all I can do at this point is just keep going on and try to do my best. Or, as I always say, "Get over it!"
~ Last night, Christopher and I went out to Spumoni's for dinner and in had a good evening catching up, as well as listening to music and swapping CDs. I must admit, it's nice having such a best friend/confidant like him. It's my hope we'll remain friends for a long time, if not life.
~ Enya's new single, "Amarantine" is GORGEOUS!! I got to hear the exclusive premiere early Monday morning and I think it's one of her much better pieces, as the music is really good, as well as the lyrics. She uses some great, classical progressions in the chorus and her voice sounds even better. Some people on Unity heartily disagree, but I mean, come on - why can't we let her be her and support that fact; I thought that was what we were there for in the first place...The new Enya.com is great, too - it's great to finally see the studio, though I wish it was shot a little differently, as to get rid of those curvy things, however, I support what Aigle does and wishes. It may sound like I'm a blind follower, but I feel I'm seeing things from their side AND the fan side. I can't wait for next month to come - both "Amarantine" AND "Love Came Down: An Irish Christmas" will be released!!
~ As soon as I can get my screwed up life back on track where it needs to be, I'm going to start working out or SOMETHING to get myself in shape for the summer. Not for anyone, but myself. If people find me more attractive, that's nice, but remember: you can look, but don't even think about touching...
Okay, enough depression for now - I've got to run to class (one I don't understand yet...sigh)
Ciao!
~ I'm still feeling screwed up in my head and it's getting damn annoying because I feel like I can't concentrate and that I'm constantly distracted by a million other things, including this stupid fantasy career I keep seeing in my head. I feel really irresponsible, inconsistent, and in general, a complete mess for having all these ideas, but almost no work ethic - I don't get it - why do I suddenly feel so lazy? Will someone please give me a straight, hardcore truthful answer to my mental state? Wahhh!!
~ Part of me thinx that my current mental situation (see above point) is partially due to the fact that I just want to live for awhile and get myself established out here before embarking on this journey we call school. I mean, I feel well-established back in Michigan, for the obvious reasons; I know I pretty much have an identity there, however, here, I sometimes feel like I don't have one yet, and, yes, I know that's part of the college life experience, but I can't shake the feeling that it's not right that I don't have a more solid foundation on which to base myself. Chrisitanity isn't going to do it, either, for the again obvious reasons. To reiterate my point of just wanting to live, well, that's pretty much it. I just wish I had the opportunity to take some time to just work, get some money for myself, and more or less get a little more settled in out here; or, in less words, become more independent, and in the process, enjoy myself a little, when needed. I guess "Amarantine" fits here, perfectly...
With regards to music in this topic, I just want to play and not worry about anything else. I just want to play, and not think about analyzing anything; just concentrate on making the music the best I can. Is this wrong? I mean, I know class is important and that I'm being challenged, but why am I not enjoying it as much as last year?
I guess all I can do at this point is just keep going on and try to do my best. Or, as I always say, "Get over it!"
~ Last night, Christopher and I went out to Spumoni's for dinner and in had a good evening catching up, as well as listening to music and swapping CDs. I must admit, it's nice having such a best friend/confidant like him. It's my hope we'll remain friends for a long time, if not life.
~ Enya's new single, "Amarantine" is GORGEOUS!! I got to hear the exclusive premiere early Monday morning and I think it's one of her much better pieces, as the music is really good, as well as the lyrics. She uses some great, classical progressions in the chorus and her voice sounds even better. Some people on Unity heartily disagree, but I mean, come on - why can't we let her be her and support that fact; I thought that was what we were there for in the first place...The new Enya.com is great, too - it's great to finally see the studio, though I wish it was shot a little differently, as to get rid of those curvy things, however, I support what Aigle does and wishes. It may sound like I'm a blind follower, but I feel I'm seeing things from their side AND the fan side. I can't wait for next month to come - both "Amarantine" AND "Love Came Down: An Irish Christmas" will be released!!
~ As soon as I can get my screwed up life back on track where it needs to be, I'm going to start working out or SOMETHING to get myself in shape for the summer. Not for anyone, but myself. If people find me more attractive, that's nice, but remember: you can look, but don't even think about touching...
Okay, enough depression for now - I've got to run to class (one I don't understand yet...sigh)
Ciao!
posted by CW at 3:59 PM
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