Do I know myself? I'd like to find out...
Music: Silence
So, my weekend is a very interesting one, as I'm housesitting for Allan and Janice while they're in Phoenix (I'm doing this from their house!) and had a relatively busy day. I met Janice @ 11ish and she gave me the run down on what's going on here while they're gone and then I went over to school, grabbed a quick bite to eat and met Christine @ noon. We played a freebie (I think) gig for Kathy, since she couldn't make it because of a rehearsal for another orchestra in the antelope valley. Anyhoo, we left for Woodland Hills at noon and then got lost, as the directions weren't very clear - they said to take the 101 to Topanga Canyon...well, the lady forgot to put that it's the 101 west...we ended up going through Hollywood and down by Sunset, facing downtown L.A., and turned around after a quick call to Janice, confirming the way to go. We made it to the library at around 1:25ish and had ample time to run through the 4 duets and chill a little. The performance went pretty well, I thought. I wasn't really nervous, though I felt it creeping in at times. There was this one GORGEOUS viola player there...talk about a walking wet dream...wow....anyhoo, we then raced back to CalArts, as I had to grab my E. horn and then get down to COC for the rehearsal there. I made it there and into the wind sectional rehearsal @ about 3:25, and the rehearsal ended @ 4. During the time spent w/ Christine, I had a lot of fun and got to know her a little better. I thoroughly enjoyed working w/ her. Other than that, Alex, the bassoonist, and I were going to head down to REDCAT for the Latin music performance, however, when I called him, he wasn't up to it, so we're looking @ tomorrow night. So, I've just been relaxing a little bit.
I finally watched the DVD the 'rents made for me that had the Monterey Bay Aquarium show on it, as well as Enya's performance on "Live! With Regis and Kelly." Watching that documentary made me want to go back to Monterey in general and spend more time there. It's such a beautiful place, and there was certainly a plethora of beautiful men to compliment it. The only thing I think wouldn't work for me would be that I would get a little bored, artistically - I really love L.A. all around, as well as SoCal, but I think it's not for me, 100%, or maybe I just haven't found the right time in my life to feel that way. San Diego is beautiful as well, so I'm not ruling that out, either. I just really love northern California for a certain reason, perhaps because it reminds me of Michigan, in a good way. I know I've probably stated it before, but the ultimate place for me would be:
~ Close to the beach (walking distance, preferably).
~ In or near a forest, for the closeness of nature/natural beauty, privacy, and tranquility.
~ Near a city.
~ Somewhere where I get a decent four seasons, or I can at least tell the difference between them.
If that didn't/doesn't work out, I could live in the city - the dream there would be a loft/condo somewhere that would be completely mine to co-design and decorate. To get back to the Monterey idea, I really love it there - I totally want to be a member someday if I have the money and could do it. I would also love to do something musical with them that would benefit both of us, but I'm not sure how that would work. Who knows? Only time...
For some sadder news, I'm feeling pressured by the 'rents to get a job. I really don't want to get into it now, but it's just frustrating and I hate that both sides of the story are 100% relevant...grrr...however, Bombay must have liked something about the hours I put down, since I've scheduled an interview for Monday @ 11. Allan did tell me not to work too much and, believe me, that won't be a problem. I feel like I really slacked last term and I need to make up for that. I didn't practice tonight because I'm a little dazed, but tomorrow I definitely will, as well as work on reeds. So, who knows what the job world has for me? The two paychecks would be nice...I need money and I've gotten much more intelligent about my spending. Sure, I get a lot of take out and such, but that's kind of a necessity, as I need food. Plus, there's stuff at home and I do eat a school quite a bit.
To talk about food, I really need to eat healthier and start getting into shape. I'm trying to decide if I should email Rachel about pilates and/or yoga or what...I can't look like the way I do now for much longer w/out going bonkers and doing something stupid, like skipping meals or something else drastic. I also wonder if genetics are part of my problem or if it's just upbringing as well as other issues I can control...blah!! I wish I had the energy and motivation I had last year to work out - if I could just have that, plus the knowledge Iand such I have now, I think I'd be in good shape to get in shape. However, the damn stress (different types) and depression doesn't like one to feel mentally sound, which causes the evil gaining of weight - it's a cycle that seems like it can't be broken, which makes everything worse. On top of that, sometimes, I really wish I wasn't Asian, or if I had to be, that I had the typical twinkie boy genetics. And, quickly regarding that Asian issue, I thought I didn't have problems like that anymore, but more and more, as I just stated, I find myself wishing I wasn't Asian; it seems like the tables have turned, slightly - I'm pretty okay with being gay, but now I'm having issues w/ my genetics? What's up w/ that? I mean, I CAN'T bring this up to the 'rents, as I know they'll have a fit, so I'm @ a momentary loss as to what to do.
So, my weekend is a very interesting one, as I'm housesitting for Allan and Janice while they're in Phoenix (I'm doing this from their house!) and had a relatively busy day. I met Janice @ 11ish and she gave me the run down on what's going on here while they're gone and then I went over to school, grabbed a quick bite to eat and met Christine @ noon. We played a freebie (I think) gig for Kathy, since she couldn't make it because of a rehearsal for another orchestra in the antelope valley. Anyhoo, we left for Woodland Hills at noon and then got lost, as the directions weren't very clear - they said to take the 101 to Topanga Canyon...well, the lady forgot to put that it's the 101 west...we ended up going through Hollywood and down by Sunset, facing downtown L.A., and turned around after a quick call to Janice, confirming the way to go. We made it to the library at around 1:25ish and had ample time to run through the 4 duets and chill a little. The performance went pretty well, I thought. I wasn't really nervous, though I felt it creeping in at times. There was this one GORGEOUS viola player there...talk about a walking wet dream...wow....anyhoo, we then raced back to CalArts, as I had to grab my E. horn and then get down to COC for the rehearsal there. I made it there and into the wind sectional rehearsal @ about 3:25, and the rehearsal ended @ 4. During the time spent w/ Christine, I had a lot of fun and got to know her a little better. I thoroughly enjoyed working w/ her. Other than that, Alex, the bassoonist, and I were going to head down to REDCAT for the Latin music performance, however, when I called him, he wasn't up to it, so we're looking @ tomorrow night. So, I've just been relaxing a little bit.
I finally watched the DVD the 'rents made for me that had the Monterey Bay Aquarium show on it, as well as Enya's performance on "Live! With Regis and Kelly." Watching that documentary made me want to go back to Monterey in general and spend more time there. It's such a beautiful place, and there was certainly a plethora of beautiful men to compliment it. The only thing I think wouldn't work for me would be that I would get a little bored, artistically - I really love L.A. all around, as well as SoCal, but I think it's not for me, 100%, or maybe I just haven't found the right time in my life to feel that way. San Diego is beautiful as well, so I'm not ruling that out, either. I just really love northern California for a certain reason, perhaps because it reminds me of Michigan, in a good way. I know I've probably stated it before, but the ultimate place for me would be:
~ Close to the beach (walking distance, preferably).
~ In or near a forest, for the closeness of nature/natural beauty, privacy, and tranquility.
~ Near a city.
~ Somewhere where I get a decent four seasons, or I can at least tell the difference between them.
If that didn't/doesn't work out, I could live in the city - the dream there would be a loft/condo somewhere that would be completely mine to co-design and decorate. To get back to the Monterey idea, I really love it there - I totally want to be a member someday if I have the money and could do it. I would also love to do something musical with them that would benefit both of us, but I'm not sure how that would work. Who knows? Only time...
For some sadder news, I'm feeling pressured by the 'rents to get a job. I really don't want to get into it now, but it's just frustrating and I hate that both sides of the story are 100% relevant...grrr...however, Bombay must have liked something about the hours I put down, since I've scheduled an interview for Monday @ 11. Allan did tell me not to work too much and, believe me, that won't be a problem. I feel like I really slacked last term and I need to make up for that. I didn't practice tonight because I'm a little dazed, but tomorrow I definitely will, as well as work on reeds. So, who knows what the job world has for me? The two paychecks would be nice...I need money and I've gotten much more intelligent about my spending. Sure, I get a lot of take out and such, but that's kind of a necessity, as I need food. Plus, there's stuff at home and I do eat a school quite a bit.
To talk about food, I really need to eat healthier and start getting into shape. I'm trying to decide if I should email Rachel about pilates and/or yoga or what...I can't look like the way I do now for much longer w/out going bonkers and doing something stupid, like skipping meals or something else drastic. I also wonder if genetics are part of my problem or if it's just upbringing as well as other issues I can control...blah!! I wish I had the energy and motivation I had last year to work out - if I could just have that, plus the knowledge Iand such I have now, I think I'd be in good shape to get in shape. However, the damn stress (different types) and depression doesn't like one to feel mentally sound, which causes the evil gaining of weight - it's a cycle that seems like it can't be broken, which makes everything worse. On top of that, sometimes, I really wish I wasn't Asian, or if I had to be, that I had the typical twinkie boy genetics. And, quickly regarding that Asian issue, I thought I didn't have problems like that anymore, but more and more, as I just stated, I find myself wishing I wasn't Asian; it seems like the tables have turned, slightly - I'm pretty okay with being gay, but now I'm having issues w/ my genetics? What's up w/ that? I mean, I CAN'T bring this up to the 'rents, as I know they'll have a fit, so I'm @ a momentary loss as to what to do.
After a few moments of reminiscing, I remember something Lori and Kathy both told me last year after the Baroque Concert in which I played a Vivaldi piece with Melinda and Tisha: "Hey man, you were kickin' major oboe ass up there!!" Such comments make one feel good and humble. I hope that I can find the motivation and willpower to make things happen so I can feel as free as I did during that concert, if I'm remembering it, correctly. Sure, there was adrenaline and a rush, but it was good.
At the moment, I wish I could soak in a hot tub with music, chocolate, mood lights, and a good book or a boyfriend. It's odd, as everytime I'm in someone else's house alone, I feel incredibly lonely and I'm obviously, like a lot of things, not sure why. Like right now, I'm really wishing I had a guy to call my own...
Well, I think that's everything I want to talk about for now. More to come, as usual.
posted by CW at 10:48 PM
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