Again...my oboe still hates me and I'm still confused about myself.
Music: "The Songs of Distant Earth" (Album - Mike Oldfield)
Here I am again, all of 3 hours later, posting. I suddenly feel very emo, lol. Anyhoo, things are feeling a little more up now after a nice indulgence of chocolate w/ Jeff & Adam. Jeff is such a relief from myself which is so great. I really love the guy to bits and am glad we've gotten to know each other so well over the last 2 semesters. And, of course, there's you, Adam. What is there to say about you that I haven't said...I wasn't joking tonight when I made that comment about liking you - you're so cute and lovable when you're playing around like that. Over the last few days I've been realizing that liking you and having it in the open has been quite interesting. The last time I liked a guy and he knew, it made things a little (okay, a LOT) awkward, but I almost feel like it's made it almost easier to be around you and talk to you since I trust you; I'd trust you w/ my life. However, it's still hard to not pull you into a hug and hold you when I want or tell you how much I care about you to your face. I can't honestly say I can imagine what it feels like for you right now, still having your issues w/ Dan and then having me wanting you. So, tell me to back off if needed and I'll try. But, forgive me - I'm still relatively new to this whole thing and have NEVER felt as comfortable being myself as I do around someone I like as I do w/ you. Oh, and tonight, those jeans made your package look really good...
To finish all this, I did mean what I said the other night about us having a chance and me being willing to change - I do like you and, if we were an item, would want to make you as happy as I could. Granted, I have my limits, but you know what I mean.
Enough gooey for now, lol - I need some sleep before that damn Carter performance tomorrow in which I hope I don't sound too bad, but I'm not going to stress about it like Beethoven. I just want to get it done. It's a great piece, but I'm tired of it. Blake has no more studio time before break and we still don't have anything finished for sure. Zach was so sweet today - apparentely he thought we were recording next week. Poor guy, I should've sent him a reminder email or facebook. At least he's still up for doing it since I gave him the parts. If only he was gay...but wait - then I'd be in a bigger mess than I am now since I'd have 2 men I'd have fallen for...what a bundle of confusion!
Here's to a decent performance tomorrow, making it through tomorrow in general, and not being too clingy w/ Adam.
Here I am again, all of 3 hours later, posting. I suddenly feel very emo, lol. Anyhoo, things are feeling a little more up now after a nice indulgence of chocolate w/ Jeff & Adam. Jeff is such a relief from myself which is so great. I really love the guy to bits and am glad we've gotten to know each other so well over the last 2 semesters. And, of course, there's you, Adam. What is there to say about you that I haven't said...I wasn't joking tonight when I made that comment about liking you - you're so cute and lovable when you're playing around like that. Over the last few days I've been realizing that liking you and having it in the open has been quite interesting. The last time I liked a guy and he knew, it made things a little (okay, a LOT) awkward, but I almost feel like it's made it almost easier to be around you and talk to you since I trust you; I'd trust you w/ my life. However, it's still hard to not pull you into a hug and hold you when I want or tell you how much I care about you to your face. I can't honestly say I can imagine what it feels like for you right now, still having your issues w/ Dan and then having me wanting you. So, tell me to back off if needed and I'll try. But, forgive me - I'm still relatively new to this whole thing and have NEVER felt as comfortable being myself as I do around someone I like as I do w/ you. Oh, and tonight, those jeans made your package look really good...
To finish all this, I did mean what I said the other night about us having a chance and me being willing to change - I do like you and, if we were an item, would want to make you as happy as I could. Granted, I have my limits, but you know what I mean.
Enough gooey for now, lol - I need some sleep before that damn Carter performance tomorrow in which I hope I don't sound too bad, but I'm not going to stress about it like Beethoven. I just want to get it done. It's a great piece, but I'm tired of it. Blake has no more studio time before break and we still don't have anything finished for sure. Zach was so sweet today - apparentely he thought we were recording next week. Poor guy, I should've sent him a reminder email or facebook. At least he's still up for doing it since I gave him the parts. If only he was gay...but wait - then I'd be in a bigger mess than I am now since I'd have 2 men I'd have fallen for...what a bundle of confusion!
Here's to a decent performance tomorrow, making it through tomorrow in general, and not being too clingy w/ Adam.
posted by CW at 12:17 AM
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