My oboe hates me

Oi!...I swear, I spoke way too soon today when I said that I thought my life was basically back on track and "normal;" my attempt @ practicing Carter, working on reeds, and trying to sharpen my knives obviously proved me quite wrong. I'm glad I'm going to see Linda tomorrow, as I'm placing my hope and trust that she'll have a solution and/or bitch-slap me and tell me to get over myself. @ this point, a professional opinion is definitely needed and wanted.
However, despite the above, things are relatively back to normal. I feel much better having my feelings in the open and knowing I have a great support group as my family out here. In many ways, I think I'm closer to them than my parents. For those of you reading, I really appreciate you very much and love you all. This semester has been the best and worst in a lot of ways and has been an emotional/mental roller coaster I'd care to not ride again. I'm not sure what I've gained from it, but I'm sure time will tell, eventually. I'm told by trusted peoples that I just need to hang in there until I'm on the plane to Detroit, so, I'm going to try. In a way, I almost feel like I need to become more callous to life and less emotionally involved w/ things, since it seems like every little thing bugs the hell out of me and that's not the kind of person I want to be.

I've also been dumbfounded and totally confused by actually wanting to be w/ someone in a monogamous relationship - I NEVER thought that I would seriously feel this way, but since this semester has been one full of surprises and curves, why not. It's not a bad feeling, but damn, is it ever-so-fucking tedious. Sometimes I can almost empathize w/ people who've done things out of love and such...it's quite a strong set of feelings, though I'm not sure how strong mine are - I just know they're pretty damn close to love, if @ times, not. I just wish there were a textbook answer and DX so I'd know for sure...

In need of coffee, chocolate, inspiration, motivation, and a boyfriend...