Wow. So, another stretch of time has passed (this time, getting into years…) since my last update here. Given my history of fickle emotional stability, I guess this isn’t anything new. But, still. So many things have happened and I can’t remember them right now (it’s late), but many good, some not so good, some just downright fucked up. However, the pertinent poop is that I’m going to UM in the fall for my master’s. I FINALLY am a “real” student of Dr. King, which is great. I think this will be a really good 2 years if I can really push myself. I got my first full-time job w/ benefits, but it doesn’t pay as much as a FT job should, in my opinion. Still, it’s functional, is interesting, and has had some great learning experiences. No more L&L for me. I love the bakery, but not the rest of it. Through that, however, I’ve learned to become a good communicator (I think), probably to the point of annoyance, but, whatever.

So. As always, there’s plenty to complain about, plenty to wish upon the stars for, etc. And, there’s plenty to be thankful for, however difficult it may seem to find it and always be aware of. Perhaps I’m in need of one of those life-changing experiences where you have nothing to live with, on, etc. Like living in Africa or something. Of late, I’m constantly battling with feeling like I’m either too selfish, fake, money-oriented, etc., or that I let everyone walk all over me and am too nice, therefore, will finish last. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that if either of this were true, that someone would (hopefully) tell me. Again, the issue of honest communication. I may not seem it, but I’m tough. I’m a big boy and am trying to deal with things the best way I can as an adult. I am sensitive, but, that’s me. I’d rather feel too much than not at all. That being said, I’m told that I’m pretty stoic and not easy to read. How confusing. I’ll just stop thinking. Ha. Right.

I have a nagging feeling that all of these feelings should be put into a song; it’s late, though, and I’m tired. Plus, I haven’t even finished half dozen songs/melodies I’ve already started. I’ve GOT to get my stuff finished and get organized with Kate to start our recording project before school starts. I’d like to get at least an EP out of it…

Blah. The crazier life gets, the more direct I get and the more I crave “perfection” and organization. Perhaps this is an age issue. I dunno anymore. I can’t tell the difference between maturity, life experience, knowledge, and common sense anymore. Eek. Someday, I will have order.

Now, a very brief look at my 2 favorite things of late - oboe and men. Oboe seems to be going well. Men...meh. My sex life needs a jumpstart, but I have a lot of mental and physical issues that seem to be mounting (no pun) against me. Argh. Just when you think you have a handle on something, it just jumps out of your grip.

I had this all planned out. And now, I’m sleepy and have to pee. It’s time for bed. I’ll try to update more often. I sorta like this brain-dump thing. It’s a lot quicker than trying to write music. And, sometimes, a bit more satisfying. Ciao for now...