Weirdness
I'm in such a weird mood right now - I actually feel lonely. I can't believe this; I thought I'd gotten over this, as it's such a distraction from what's important. I need to make this entry and then go work on theory homework, and all I can think about is how I want to be with someone right now...grrr...In better news, I've recently discovered some things about myself:
~ The highlight of my week is my oboe lesson; for some reason, I feel I can really regroup and almost reiterate my reasoning for being a musician. Plus, having Allan as a teacher/mentor is always a gift in itself. I hope I can feel free enough to be that musical someday. Grr, why can't that damn annoying "lonely" feeling come through when I'm playing my Bach aria? Why can't I find a way to channel everything into my playing and get it out of my system when I need to? Either that, or have a sort of "reservoir" of emotions, colors, etc. to draw from when I need to...or, both that make the notes not so important. I'm holding back on my musicality for some reason; I think it's because it feels so vulnerable to be that expressive - I'm not naturally an expressive person (opinionated, but not expressive, most of the time), but people, including Allan, keep telling me I'm a natural musician, etc. I just wish I could figure out what my mental block is and work around it.
~ My life is going by much quicker than anticipated, but this is a good thing. It should also be a big kick in the butt to not be so lazy sometimes. I hope things fly in a good way, so I don't have too much time to focus on myself.
~ I really want a pet - I miss my kitties sooo much - pets are the perfect companions, and I miss mine. Granted, I said I'm not interested in love relationships, companionship, etc., but that was relating to my own species. Having a pet is a totally different kind of thing, and I know that that's what I could really use right now - people just don't do it for me...a dog or cat would be great - I wouldn't feel awkward or anything negative or tentative about cuddling up with one on the bed or lovin' 'em up. Plus, with a dog, 2 walks (or, perhaps jogs?) per day would be great exercise. Ah well, maybe this is fate saying I need to suck it all up and focus more. However, I still want a pet.
Other Good News:
The tracklisting for "Amarantine" was recently posted by Roma on the official website. Here it is:
1. Less than a Pearl
2. Amarantine (Album Version)
3. It's in the Rain
4. If I Could Be Where You Are
5. The River Sings
6. Long, Long Journey
7. Sumiregusa (Wild Violet)
8. Someone Said Goodbye
9. A Moment Lost
10. Drifting
11. Amid the Falling Snow
12. Water Shows the Hidden Heart
It's definitely not was I was expecting; in fact, someone posted this before it was official, and I thought it was fake, and naturally didn't think anything too good of it, but now, my opinion has changed. I find it ironic that "If I Could Be Where You Are" reminds me A LOT of "To Where You Are" and "If I Could Turn Back Time" and "Someone Said Goodbye" is A LOT like "One by One" and "Time to Say Goodbye." Also, "Amid the Falling Snow" reminds me of "In the Bleak Midwinter" for some reason...The other titles are just, well, unique. This is by no means a criticism, but an observation. I get the feeling that this album will be a little different, if titles and promo pictures are a true, clear indicators...so far, the only thing I don't like is the picture for the single, but that's a personal preference, as I feel the pic isn't that good, but Aigle does, and I'm sure their reason is well-based and makes sense. Besides, not having heard the album, who am I to say that it doesn't fit the theme. Something also interesting is that there are rumors about the track, "Spaghetti Western" from the "The Celts" soudntrack being a B-side on the single...this would be very interesting...
~ The highlight of my week is my oboe lesson; for some reason, I feel I can really regroup and almost reiterate my reasoning for being a musician. Plus, having Allan as a teacher/mentor is always a gift in itself. I hope I can feel free enough to be that musical someday. Grr, why can't that damn annoying "lonely" feeling come through when I'm playing my Bach aria? Why can't I find a way to channel everything into my playing and get it out of my system when I need to? Either that, or have a sort of "reservoir" of emotions, colors, etc. to draw from when I need to...or, both that make the notes not so important. I'm holding back on my musicality for some reason; I think it's because it feels so vulnerable to be that expressive - I'm not naturally an expressive person (opinionated, but not expressive, most of the time), but people, including Allan, keep telling me I'm a natural musician, etc. I just wish I could figure out what my mental block is and work around it.
~ My life is going by much quicker than anticipated, but this is a good thing. It should also be a big kick in the butt to not be so lazy sometimes. I hope things fly in a good way, so I don't have too much time to focus on myself.
~ I really want a pet - I miss my kitties sooo much - pets are the perfect companions, and I miss mine. Granted, I said I'm not interested in love relationships, companionship, etc., but that was relating to my own species. Having a pet is a totally different kind of thing, and I know that that's what I could really use right now - people just don't do it for me...a dog or cat would be great - I wouldn't feel awkward or anything negative or tentative about cuddling up with one on the bed or lovin' 'em up. Plus, with a dog, 2 walks (or, perhaps jogs?) per day would be great exercise. Ah well, maybe this is fate saying I need to suck it all up and focus more. However, I still want a pet.
Other Good News:
The tracklisting for "Amarantine" was recently posted by Roma on the official website. Here it is:
1. Less than a Pearl
2. Amarantine (Album Version)
3. It's in the Rain
4. If I Could Be Where You Are
5. The River Sings
6. Long, Long Journey
7. Sumiregusa (Wild Violet)
8. Someone Said Goodbye
9. A Moment Lost
10. Drifting
11. Amid the Falling Snow
12. Water Shows the Hidden Heart
It's definitely not was I was expecting; in fact, someone posted this before it was official, and I thought it was fake, and naturally didn't think anything too good of it, but now, my opinion has changed. I find it ironic that "If I Could Be Where You Are" reminds me A LOT of "To Where You Are" and "If I Could Turn Back Time" and "Someone Said Goodbye" is A LOT like "One by One" and "Time to Say Goodbye." Also, "Amid the Falling Snow" reminds me of "In the Bleak Midwinter" for some reason...The other titles are just, well, unique. This is by no means a criticism, but an observation. I get the feeling that this album will be a little different, if titles and promo pictures are a true, clear indicators...so far, the only thing I don't like is the picture for the single, but that's a personal preference, as I feel the pic isn't that good, but Aigle does, and I'm sure their reason is well-based and makes sense. Besides, not having heard the album, who am I to say that it doesn't fit the theme. Something also interesting is that there are rumors about the track, "Spaghetti Western" from the "The Celts" soudntrack being a B-side on the single...this would be very interesting...
posted by CW at 8:55 PM
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