Ummm...

I'd planned to be in dreamland by now, as I hopped into bed 2 hours ago, however...

This week is just weird. If one looks @ my post from Monday, it's obvious that THAT was a busy day. Then, yesterday, I had all of my music classes, as it was my busiest day. And finally, I woke up @ 7:30 for no frickin' reason AGAIN (I did this last week, and then class was cancelled...), as I didn't really need to re-read the same thing I got up to read last week. Bah! At least I got a start on working on some reeds - I pitched 3 Tuesday night, which really pissed me off, not to mention that I think the clothes shredder, I mean, washing machine (how I MISS my front loader!! I want my Maytag Neptune!!) ate my one set of blue sheets and pillowcases - the damn things weren't cheap either, as they're, I believe, 380 thread count (I like my stuff to last longer than just a year or two), so hopefully, someone accidentely mistook them for theirs and they still exist...I'm using the red ones again, which is okay, but I really had my heart set on midnight blue this month...
To get back to today, tonight was even odd; I was supposed to meet Blake and Hyperdyne @ the ticket office to see this play in the mod, but then I didn't know what time, so I ended up hanging out w/ Heather in the reed room where we worked on reeds, as we usually do. Only a double reed player can appreciate the comraderie, friendship, understanding, as well as fun we have share working together, whether it's playing or working on reeds. It also appears that her friend, Machek (don't know real Polish spelling) from USC will be coming to CalArts in the fall, so that's cool.
This question has been haunting the back of my mind for awhile: when one falls in love and things don't work out, is it really normal to still have the other have a special place in the mind/heart, even though the relationship is a long-distance friendship? For those of you who know of whom and what I speak, yes, it still is on my mind, though definitely not as much. It just bugs the hell out of me when I feel like I'm still victim to the stupid feelings (though not as strong) that got me into that mental/emotional mess in the first place, when really, I shouldn't even really be thinking about it. I mean, what the hell is wrong w/ me?

I can't remember if I already posted this, but here it is again or for the first time: I think I've finally gotten to the point where I could handle a relationship of sorts, w/ these conditions:

A.) the physical aspect doesn't go beyond making out, if that.
B.) nothing too serious; the last thing I need is another chunk of time ruled by my unruly emotions.
C.) there is an understanding that school and music come first.

So, yes, I'm a little more at ease w/ the idea of relationships, but I'm still not going to go looking for one. I still don't see the real need for one, or why everyone thinks they're the greatest thing since birth control, but I might as well give one a try someday just to test the theories myself. Blah...with as much as I go to Michigan, that would be enough to kill something, I think, so who knows.

I was going to post more, but I'm tired, so more later. I can't believe I'll be home again in less than a month! Yay! & OMG!! WHAT AM I THINKING!! (You know what I'm referring to...)