Why me?! Why us?!
Music: Enya & Josh Groban
So, I always speak too soon about how things are going - maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. I'm a total emo mess right now over nothing, or, @ least something that I shouldn't be crying for 15 minutes about while driving on the freeway and talking to my mother. I can @ least say I know what heartbreak feels like, to a certain extent, if I even dare go that far. To sum it up, it really fucking sucks to love someone you can't have and see all the time. Granted, I don't have to see you all the time, but it hurts just as much to not see and be around you, so I guess either way I'm fucked until I can figure out how to get past this. I'm not angry @ you, but the situation and how I let myself get involved so intimately. This semester was supposed to be one of good friends, hard work, and no intimate feelings beyond a strong friendship. But, instead it turned out to be a semester of good friends, enough work to get by, and too many intimate feelings and too much drama. I'm so confused, still as to why it happened and why I let it.
I don't know what else to say except that I think I'll be okay after tonight - I'm now thinking the way to deal with this is head on, since I see you all the time and I'll be damned if I let our friendship get put on the line over my naivety and personal drama. So, bear w/ me. I'm trying.
I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.
So, I always speak too soon about how things are going - maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. I'm a total emo mess right now over nothing, or, @ least something that I shouldn't be crying for 15 minutes about while driving on the freeway and talking to my mother. I can @ least say I know what heartbreak feels like, to a certain extent, if I even dare go that far. To sum it up, it really fucking sucks to love someone you can't have and see all the time. Granted, I don't have to see you all the time, but it hurts just as much to not see and be around you, so I guess either way I'm fucked until I can figure out how to get past this. I'm not angry @ you, but the situation and how I let myself get involved so intimately. This semester was supposed to be one of good friends, hard work, and no intimate feelings beyond a strong friendship. But, instead it turned out to be a semester of good friends, enough work to get by, and too many intimate feelings and too much drama. I'm so confused, still as to why it happened and why I let it.
I don't know what else to say except that I think I'll be okay after tonight - I'm now thinking the way to deal with this is head on, since I see you all the time and I'll be damned if I let our friendship get put on the line over my naivety and personal drama. So, bear w/ me. I'm trying.
I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.
posted by CW at 9:40 PM
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