Why am I inside on such a beautiful day?

Music: Cher

Aiye!!!! The next week just needs to fly by...it's just so busy:

Monday: jury, chamber music concert (Beethoven...)
Tuesday: usually busy day, use evening to finish up final critical studies stuff
Wednesday: final presentations in Conservation & Lit. classes...yay! No more critical studies for this year!
Thursday: reed lesson w/ Lara, baroque concert (Zelenka...)
Friday: ????

If I make it through to next weekend, I'll be amazed. Then, that next week is my lovely skills exam and then theory exam the next week, and packing up/moving out...Oh well, @ least I'm busy...

My first gig!

Yesterday was so freakin' busy-besides being normally busy, I had my first gig that night!! Paul Sherman asked me to play oboe in the Santa Clarita Young Artists Symphony (he was conductor), so of course, I agreed and it was soo much fun-and paid well. We played arrangements of "Procession of the Nobles" (Rimsky-Korsakov), "Symphony No. 7 Third Movement" (Bruckner), "Orchestral Suite No. 2 in b minor for Strings" (J.S. Bach), "Procession from 'Die Meistersinger" (Wagner), "Symphony No. 3 Finale" (Mahler), and "Symphonic Suite from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" (Shore).
The guy who played principal flute was REALLY good-sounded great on picc., flute, and the pennywhistle. Kathy played principle, which was fun, as well.
The high school we played at (Hart) was pretty decent-on one of the instrument storage lockers someone had drawn themselves with a suggestive message...quite humourous. High schoolers...

why?

what a day...why is it whenever i feel really good about something, like my playing, that i crash and burn? i mean, it's so damn frustrating...like today, we played the Beethoven in forum. I knew I didn't play as well as I have (reeds/nerves...grrr), but Kathy was a little harsh, even though she's right and i probably deserved it. i asked her how it sounded and she said, "it sounded like nothing; i couldn't hear you and when i could, the pitch, rhythm, and tone quality weren't very good. you've got a lot of work to do." ouch. so, needless to say, i just feel sorta shitty, even though she's right. and, damn those stupid nerves. i almost froze up because everyone was watching...why is it i can play a duet almost perfectly with someone and feel great and then bomb an ensemble piece? am i not supposed to feel good about what i do? or am i supposed to feel good, but get negative response? why?

More about me...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Chris
2. OboeChris
3. ___

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. dr_cwheeler
2. oboewheeler
3. ________

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My Eyes
2. My Brain
3. My Ideas

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My Brain
2. Body
3. Awkwardness

THREE THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD RIGHT NOW:
1. Sound protection for the party going on in the bathroom and next door...
2. A hot physical appearance
3. A MUCH larger savings account

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Korean
2. Korean
3. Korean

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. U.S. Government
2. Coming out to the family
3. um...death?

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music
2. E-Mail
3. Food

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. "Athletic" pants
2. Glasses
3. CalArts Music t-shirt

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS/ARTISTS AT PRESENT:
1. Clannad/Moya Brennan
2. "'S fagaim mo bhaile" (Enya)
3. "Pictures at an Exhibition (Mussorgsky)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Getting and holding a steady source of income
2. Get in shape
3. Become a better musician/artist/person

THREE THINGS YOU NEED IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Intelligent Intellect/Maturity
2. Trust/Honesty/Commitment
3. Stability

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I practiced for an hour and a half last night
2. I went to a party
3. I'm talking to a bunch of people right now

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Having the same sexual attraction
2. Being Unique
3. Similar Brains...

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Hurt someone intentionally
2. Not march to the beat of my own drum
3. Have patience with stupidity

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES (other than music):
1. Reading
2. Shopping (when I have money)
3. Animals

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Take a shower
2. Eat
3. Get my homework done

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Recording Artist (Composer/Performer, etc.)
2. Prof. Oboist (ie. playing in a symphony)
3. ____________

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1. Europe... again
2. Hawaii
3. Road Trip...

THREE KIDS NAMES (if I actually had kids for some reason...)
1. Michael
2. Jake
3. Isobella

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Travel the world for either music-related stuff or just for fun
2. Become successful @ what I do
3. ___________________

An incredibly fast week

Music: Clannad

Dude, this week has sooo flown by...

Monday: Not feeling very well! All achy and it hurts to play. So, of course, I get sick towards the last few weeks of school...went back to the room after forum and just chilled out and crashed. Also got dates from Kathy for watching John. Thank God those days are the 2nd week of May-just music stuff to work on!! Yay! May 9, 13, and 14. Perhaps I hear $75... Also, the interpretive dance from the kids @ Kathy's recital will be immortalized in CalArts oboe history...

Tuesday: Feeling a little better. Accidentely opened my mouth and told a few people my birthday was the next day-Kathy brought me this cute piece of lemon poppyseed cake w/ a candle, and she and a few people sang to me @ the beginning of wind class...aww. She's such a sweetie! Dvorak is coming along great-such a GREAT piece. Also, the Zelenka seems to be coming along. The fugue in the middle of the never-ending 2nd movement throws us off, though. Christopher also got the job back east, so we went to the French Market, and the service wasn't that great...oh well, walking around and teasing him was.

Wednesday: Happy Birthday to me!! Too bad I had critical studies classes that morning. Got A TON of birthday emails from various people, including Mrs. Mckowen, Chris Showerman, Joe Ruder, Dorothy Price, and the Durkees. I had to laugh at Gretchen's e-card... Anyhoo, it took me a little over an hour to find out where I wanted to eat that night. I originally thought about a few places downtown, but they just didn't click. Cafe Pinot was a bit too pricey... We ended up going to this Latin-Asian fusion place called ZaZen, down in Venice/Marina Del Rey. Very interesting...food was pretty good, but the dessert's name is a bit of a lie; it's called Chocolate Sin or something like that, but to our tongues, it was just good, not sinful. The chocolate @ Blake & Gilbert's back home was much better, to be completely honest. After that, we walked out onto the pier and almost froze to death, since the sea breeze was a bit chilly. It was cool to watch the planes take off from LAX, though. And, of course, my left shoe sole has come undone, so I'll have to have Dad glue that one together like the other one...grrr. Then, it was up to Hollywood, since I'd never been there. However, we had a bit of an excursion on Wilshire in Santa Monica; it amazes me that there are like no restrooms in downtown Santa Monica, and if there are, you have to be a customer or hold it 'till you get home...plus, everything out here closes super early @ around 9 or so...how weird is that. Anyway, Christopher and I literally ran up and down both sides of the freakin' street trying to find a restroom. Christopher had a bit of an incident @ K.F.C that was quite funny, as well. We finally get back to the car and make it to the corner w/ the K.F.C. and he pulls over and runs in. I must say, it was quite funny. So, finally we make it to Hollywood-I've now been where they lay out the red carpet and walked on the stars that line the street - from Celine Dion, Phil Collins, Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, and many more. I'm going to have one, someday. The Kodak was a little different than I thought, but it was cool, nonetheless. Christopher says the actual theatre sucks, but I'll wait until I actually get in there to make that judgement. Life was fun that night. No offense, but celebrating out here is so much more fun.

Thursday: Went w/ Allan down to Colburn to hear him play in 2 young people concerts that just the woodwinds were doing. He played the first movement of the Saint-Saens sonata and sounded great, as usual. They then did a movement from the Mozart Piano Quintet and the first and last movements from the Dvorak, which were great, except that the first movement was a little fast, but they all said that Jeffrey (conductor) likes it fast. Paul Sherman played 2nd and we got to chat quite a bit-I get to do a concert for one of his youth orchestras in Valencia next Tuesday night-how cool, my first gig!! Jeffrey Kahane, the LACO music director is SOOOO nice and SOOO talented-I'd love to work w/ him someday. Some of the questions the kids asked were quite humorous; "Are you a pro?" but this one kid was pretty deep; when asked why he liked music (he asked why the players liked music), he said, "it makes me feel things I've never felt before..." that's sooo beautiful, and it's so awesome to see the Zipper Hall filled w/ kids who are so enthusiastic. Hopefully, that will be the next generation of musicians...

Friday: Got my "Closer" CD back from Steve today - I missed it, but am very happy that he enjoyed it so much; it was worth it. I think I did decently on the listening exam and I feel like an idiot for missing my Beethoven rehearsal, but everyone was cool about it, so I don't feel so bad...I actually cooked up some angel hair for dinner...now it's just time to do dishes and start working on homework, then going to practice. All in all, it's been a very eventful week.

On a personal level, I miss Doug and 'Stina. Hopefully, we'll be able to get together this summer. Cedar Point would be awesome, but it's so far...

Clear Moon, Quiet Winds...

Music: Enya, Tingstad & Rumbel

Thursday's Concert: Went quite well, even though we had practically NO audience...the one time I counted, there were 13 people, including myself, and most were people in the class who were in the audience. Regardless, everyone performed well. I was so pumped that I had such an awesome reed that really let me play my heart out-the music had a chance to come out...though, the one time I went to breathe and it caught in my throat...lol. And, there was Thai food afterwards; yay!! I was like 2nd in line and had plenty of pad thai to keep me happy for a while. I was sooooo hungry, as I hadn't eaten since around 10 that morning and had a granola bar running over beforehand.

Also, the reed lesson w/ Lara went great, as expected. Lots of good things to try. She also showed us (Lori and I) a TON of oboe cane that's growing on the other side of town, over by 6 Flags...We brought back a piece to age, so we're crossing our fingers that it'll age well and the rest of the land won't be developed. Lara also has this AWESOME Toyota hybrid car-I sooo would love to have one...

Not much going on today except Kathy's recital in an hour, which should go well. I can't wait to see Allan eating pizza; for some reason, that image just isn't fitting in my brain, lol.

So, onto the debatable subject of critical studies homework...AHHH! Since classes end the first week of May, that's a relief, but also sorta' freaky because all of the final projects are due then...papers, in my case. I've asked for some help for conservation paper and literature papers, so that should help. The modernism project should go okay as well, I hope. It's just a matter of sitting down and starting the projects and trying to figure out what the heck I want to say and make it work in whatever format is needed. So, I'm writing down my ideas in just blank format right now, so that should help clear some of the fog. I just suddenly feel overwhelmed, but I can do this...just sit down and focus........my gosh, I'm going to be so freakin' busy that first week-2 concerts, final projects due/presentations...gah! Oh well, what relief when I'll finally have my Wednesday's free...then all it is music stuff.

As the title of this entry implies, I really could use that nice long soak in the hot tub with all of the amenities to straighten out my thoughts...

Who can say where the day flows?

Time-such a funny thing-when you want it to go quickly, it creeps by very slowly, like a stealthy predator on the hunt, but when you want it to go slowly, it moves @ light speed, like national money that could be used for useful and good things like the arts, education, and promoting conservation/working to preserve the environment...

I got to see Allan again today @ the presentation of the school's NEW baroque oboe!!!! Yay!!!! It's such a BEAUTIFUL instrument, despite its funkiness in terms of playing...I don't know if I'm brave enough to try it...maybe if I'm good @ it by the time I'm a senior, I'll play it @ my graduation recital...sigh...I love the oboe, no matter what type...lol.

So, Chris gets on his scale at home during break and finds out that he's pretty much kept his weight, which is a GREAT thing, even though he wishes he would've lost some more. He then checks again @ Kathy's house and finds he's gained like 2/3 lbs.!!!! What the heck?!?!?! Grrrrr...you have no idea how frustrating he finds this to be...so, this summer he'll DEFINETELY be busy, not only working for money and music, but with his workouts and remodeling his room-2 1/2 months had better be enough time...we're praying for cooperative parents. Plus, he has to find time to Chicago again ;-)

For some reason, I'm looking forward to the concert on Thursday night...maybe it's because there will be free food afterwards (crossing fingers for Thai Pepper = free dinner w/ leftovers, perhaps...) or because he sounds (knock on wood) pretty decent on some stuff.

In boytalk, well, there's not much except that I still think Kirin is absolutely gorgeous (his semi-shaved head makes him look more Russian...) and Jordan is so darn cute...too bad he's leaving this year...

Do you believe in life after reeds?

Yay...so it's 4 days 'till the Baroque concert, and do I feel ready? Not so Much!! I didn't reallize that I was playing SO FrEaKiN MuCh!! At least I have a lesson earlier that day, so hopefully I'll have some good reeds that won't kill me off. And let's also hope that someone brings food for those who stay for the entire marathon and for us who've been working out on stage, I mean, playing...gaaaaahhhhh!!
On the good side, Kathy will probably need my help babysitting next month and she and Mike are letting me store my fridge in their garage, so that's all cool. Plus, there's only 39 days until May 20, which is nice, but freaky. We're all praying that someone back in Michigan at a chain will love me and hire me and let me transfer. Plus, I need to check into work study, 'cause I don't think I applied...but I didn't see a thing on my financial aid where I could. Zeesch!

Relief!! Kathy told me today that we're not playing the Zelenka piece this Thursday...whew! I could've gotten it ready in time, but I feel much better knowing that I don't have to rush...So now I'm just playing Vivaldi (w/ Melinda), Arne, Handel, Purcell, and something else, I think...
I'm feeling so lazy right now...but I should probably go practice some more-I (knock on wood) have some decent reeds now, so that helps. It's only 9, so maybe I'll work a little on "Back Home" since I don't really have any theory or skills stuff to do and I'm sick of my critical studies stuff @ the moment. Zow!

Suprisingly awake at this hour.

Yay! I get to see Allan today and go to one of his Chamber orch. concerts; I miss him so much! Thank God he'll be back next year...Of course, Stuart is AWESOME as well and I'm really happy to be studying w/ him, but I do miss Allan and his chocolate...
So, the recital; Lori, as well as some of the string players didn't show up-what was that all about? Oh well, @ least "Let the Bright Seraphim" sounded good, if not a little empty. The Varese was quite interesting as well; no one told me to give the A, so I after a quick consultation w/ Josh, the clarinetist (who's, IMHO, pretty cute), I just gave 2 quick ones. A very odd feeling...at least it came out in tune.
In other aspects of life, I can't believe I'm almost done w/ this year!! Where has the time gone?

Almost there...

So, it's an hour before Yulia's recital...yay...(notice the sarcasm) I really don't want to play "Offrandes" again-it's a cool piece, but just doesn't click w/ me. At least there's some Handel to balance it off...
So much to do! Allan's L.A. Chamber Orch. concert tomorrow, plus his student's recital, PLUS my homework, PLUS reeds and practicing!! Ahhh!! And John and Jordan think that I have time and the want to get drunk and high with them? (Sighs heavily...)