Help.

I'm tired of people. I'd like to say that I was more mature and that I knew that this is what life is about, etc., blah, blah, blah. But, I can't. I get annoyed @ the little differences in everyone. I hate when people play games. I hate when people, including myself, make mistakes. I hate when people, who should be doing way the hell better @ life than I, fuck up. I hate when people say one thing and mean another. I HATE rejection, though I should be used to it by now.

I'd also like to say that I'm not judgmental. But, I am. Sometimes, it's really awful. Other times, I feel like I really get how people think. If there was one thing I wish would change about my life, it's that I wish it were way more consistent. I wish I could find more like-minded people to be around on a regular basis.

Venting continues. Gay men of late have been royally pissing me off. It's mainly the stuck-up, self-righteous bastards who look down on people who like to have casual sex and fuck buddies. If anyone should know any ONE thing about life, it's that attitude is everything. And, if you're a prissy fag, sorry, you aren't going to get that masculine guy you're looking for. If he wanted a priss, he'd be fucking straight, dumbfuck...gay life is SO full of illusions (cue the song, "Shattered Illusions"), pretention, and unattainable fantasies, it's amazing how people survive. Part of me wants to be part of the elite gays, who have looks, money, everything. The other part says "fuck off to all you lucky bastards." Gah. Life wouldn't be one lick easier if I was straight. Suck it up, sister...

Rejection sucks. In every possible way. I wonder if experience makes it any easier to bear.

Ugh. Sometimes, I wonder how I'm EVER going to make it past 30, if I make it that far. I can't stand myself about 50% of the time, and that's not a comforting thought.