Finally! I can update! I'm back home now (as of last Sunday) and things are extreme-boring or exciting. I really miss L.A., even when I was bored there, at least there was someone to talk to or something to maybe go to...The details of the last few days:

Last week: Thursday, saw mom and dad, started moving stuff out, went to Charthouse for dinner and invited Christopher along-a great time had by all, particularly since we had a Kia Sedona. The 'rents love Kathy and I moved soo much stuff into her place Thursday and Friday. Friday was graduation and the finishing of moving out and such-saw Leona and said goodbye to Christopher. The poor kid was all stressed out. Graduation was, um, interesting-one of the music people went across stage naked-I don't remember who it was, but he had a nice body and from where I was, he looked yummy, lol. Saw Allan and chatted a bit w/ him.
Saturday, we went to Altadena and got my oboe fixed up and I got some cane-'rents love Michelle and we then headed to Ontario-Ontario Mills is one of the BEST malls I've ever been to. We went to dinner @ Rainforest Cafe, which is awesome and then chilled out @ the hotel room until we left for the airport.
The airport was, well, interesting. It's small for one thing and the rest will take up too much space. The flight was uneventful - we were all a bit tired. The layover in Houston was cool-a HUGE airport and even had time for a McDonald's breakfast...yummy. The flight to Detroit was fun, w/ a little turbulence. We landed early @ around 10:30 and then stopped @ Tim Hortons for a snack. We then remembered sometime around then that we left my smallest suitcase in the Kia. Thank God Hertz sent it to us.
Meanwhile, this whole trip, Dad was just scatterbrained, in terms of driving and almost everything else...Ai....

This Week: Jet lag! My sleeping is SOOO screwed up. I'm glad to be home, but as previously stated, it's a bit boring. Went job hunting @ Sears, Mervyn's, Marshall Music, Kohl's, Marshall Fields, Pier 1, Olive Garden and just called this place we found in the Enterprise...up to $575 a week...
Had a lesson w/ Gretchen where we worked on cane and got a bit caught up. Sports Camp rehearsal on Tuesday night-very interesting. I finally met Larry and he's fab.
Went to see Star Wars on Wednesday night as well, which was cool. Graduation was on Thursday and I was @ Katie's till midnight thirty...Friday was clean out my room day. Saturday was visiting Grandma and Grandpa Wheeler and Aunt Linda, which was a surprise. Today, played English horn @ church and probably going to Kenny's open house later on. Plus, I'm horny.

Killing Time

Music: John Williams

Pretty chill day; had a reed class w/ Lara @ 1 - that went pretty well - it looks like I'm almost to that point of being completely independent. Hope that this summer will help that.

Went w/ Christopher to this really good restaurant downtown (9th/Figueroa) called The Original Pantry-I was half expecting to see Josh there since it's one of his favorite places, but, alas, of course not. So, now, I can actually say I've been "downtown," in terms of being in the middle of all the skyscrapers - I have to say that my favorite ones are the U.S. Bank Tower, Gas Company building, and Westin Bonaventure. Personally, 777 Figueroa is just really, um, ugly. However, it's that ugliness that gives it its personality in the skyline. As for the Westin, I personally think that the Renaissance Center in Detroit is a little prettier, though I wonder what that itself would look like with circular towers instead of octagonal and if they all matched and if it had a spire like the Peachtree in Atlanta. Hmmm.

I know I keep saying this, but it feels so weird that the end of the year has come this quickly. Mom and Dad are in the air right now and should be here around 11ish tonight. I mean, yeah, it feels like a sorta long time since I moved in, but still, this is the end of my freshman year...I mean, that's big... hopefully "moving back home" won't be too annoying or difficult, since I have a little more stuff than what I came with in the fall. I know I'm going to miss all of my musical conviniences here, as well as the schedule and people. Oh well, it's only home for 10 weeks and then it's back out here to Idyllwild for what I'm hoping and thinking will probably be a great 2 weeks of music and studying a little w/ Nancy King. And then, to sorta top it off, I get to play in Disney Hall, no matter what. Wow. I mean, basically, I know what's happening up until this time next year - not all the details, of course, but essentially the big parts.

So, I think I'm just going to keep slowly getting stuff ready to pack, and then tomorrow, do just that. Tomorrow runs as is: Music School Picnic @ noon, Pack Up, Dinner w/ 'rents and Christopher. Friday is checking out and then, uh, maybe chillin' out w/ the 'rents 'till graduation. Saturday is then going to Michelle's @ 2 and slowly going back to the airport...what do do with all that time?

In other news, I heard that Enya just bought 2 new Maybach cars...wow. Must be nice to have that money, though I'd probably buy a BMW or Bentley and have it specially made into a hybrid if @ all possible-I really don't need a V-12 engine or whatnot.

Why can't I stop thinking about Doug whenever I think about a composing or violin or both? I'm so confused...

Musical Brain

Yay - I'm finished (for the time being...) w/ "Back Home." I can't wait to hear the live and breathing (no pun) version over the Finale version. Things are probably going to have to be tweaked, like lyric placement, however, as the composer, my hypothesis is that it should be do-able. As of now, the tempo marking is @ 82, and the optimal (read: correct) feeling is should have is that weird one that's right between 4 and 2.
I also started on the guitar charts, however, the hard thing w/ that is not knowing if transpositions are needed or not. Oh well, first rehearsal is next Tuesday, so that should definately take care of the majority of problems. It will also be cool to have Larry as the 2nd keyboardist, however, that may make it harder because I don't know if he's a good improviser or if I have to write everything out...
By the way, a big Happy Birthday to Enya, as she turned 44 today.

Reality w/ Distance?

Music: "Capriccio Espagnol" (Rimsky-Korsakov)

Finally, the weather cooled down a little bit - I was dying yesterday, it was so hot. Today, it was a bit overcast and actually quite humid, but in the high 60s, so it was nice.
I also talked to Doug today for a little bit - he sounded interested in getting together again this summer, whether @ 6 Flags by him or Cedar Point. I did some mapquesting and found that it takes longer to get to his place from mine than from mine to Cedar Point. Now, the challenge comes in finding a way to make it all work. He's never been to CP and I know he'd love it and I think we'd have a great time all the way around; besides, I haven't been since last year, so I need my fix of speed, height, and general thrills, not to mention the good "male bonding" time and checking out all of the hotties @ the park...I just feel like a blabbing idiot on the phone, however, it's then that I remember he's not really a phone person, and MUCH more of a one-on-one, in person kind of guy (@ least, that's what I've gotten), so that brings the challenge of just hanging out. Grr, those damn distances. Why am I so...uh..."taken" with/by him? I really don't know-maybe it's just the fact that he's just him, through and through-inside AND outside.

The Concert

Last night's L.A. Phil concert was really good-it was the 2nd in their "Soundstage L.A." series, and David Newman was conducting-we had seats in the balcony, but it's 100% true that there isn't a bad seat in the house @ Disney Hall. They sounded great, as always and it was a pretty full house, which was nice. Heather the bassoonist and I went down - it was really fun-she's such a cool person. On the way back, we somehow ended up going south on the 405 instead of north...that was kinda weird but funny. We were also parked next to a white Bentley Azure in the parking structure @ Disney Hall...very cool. All those prayers for good traffic and parking and such paid off. What made the whole trip cool was that the tickets were free from the music office...

So, today, I'm just doing laundry and dishes and starting to pack up a little bit. I can't believe this is the last week (sniff, sniff)...it's gone SO quickly even though I thought it was slow @ times. Wow...Mom and Dad fly in late Wednesday night.

Last night's program was as follows:

Waxman: "Sunset Boulevard"
Bernstein: "The Grifters"
Rosenman: "Rebel Without a Cause"
Silvestri: "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"
Goldsmith: "Chinatown"
Kaper: "Them!" ( I LOVE this piece-I mean, it's about giant, mutant ants...)
Raskin: "The Bad and the Beautiful"
Rozsa: "Double Indemnity"

Christopher is gone until Monday-he flew up to San Jose to hang w/ his dad, so I have the room to myself for the whole weekend-how, uh, uneventful, lol. Perhaps I'll just walk over to the other mall or something like I used to last term, however, that makes it very tempting to want to buy something and I'm trying not to spend any money except when I go down to Michelle's next Saturday.

Had a reed "lesson" w/ Lara today-apparentely, my reeds are getting much better, which, of course, is a good thing. We were also talking about studio playing and was enlightened to find out that David Weiss almost made $2K...I could ALWAYS use that...Somehow, I must find a way to get more into the L.A. music scene while @ the same time, trying to make my own music and ultimately be successful. What a goal. Hopefully, the next 3 years will allow me to do so.
Speaking of reeds, I have cane soaking now, so I should probably go and shape and tie on. The first piece I tried split-grrrr....More to come

Carl's Jr.

Music: Sarah Brightman

I've recently discovered that the tube things that little kids play in @ fast food restaurants will hold adults...(Kathy says for parents that chase after kids) John is one of those kids that's hard to say no to, so of course, I had to accompany him in the fun today @ Carl's Jr. It was fun, I have to admit, and it was a very, uh, unique feeling to feel that free, even w/ people watching. Why can't that transfer over into music, where I need it the most?
Got $50, so that's cool, as well. Dvorak tomorrow @ noon concert. Should be fun.

As I seem to be doing whenever I have time, I was, of course, thinking about Doug. I realized that this past summer when I was "in love" w/ him (another discussion), I've never felt so lonely, confused, or 'vulnerable' from what I can remember. Is really liking someone that much supposed to feel like that? I know he couldn't really do anything about it per say, but it really hurt a lot. I remember feeling so stupid for letting that side of me get the best of my rational thinking-I mean, the whole point of the trip was for music, not to get attached to someone that much; in terms of Sarah and Creel, well, I don't know. They both have more experience in that field, but in my own personal case, I know that it wasn't the smartest thing to do. However, I just hope that if by some strange chance in the galactic empire Doug reads this that I don't offend him, as I'm sooo happy we're still really good friends, but I'm just pissed @ myself for letting other things come in the way of my concentration @ the time. (It's over, yeah, but it never hurts to try and organize one's thoughts...) However, I still want to know why I feel "over" him but not; I really wish emotions/"feelings" were voluntary things...Ai!!

Thanx, Kathy...

I'm a bit happy-I made $60 yesterday...I ended up at Kathy's from 5 to midnight-thirty...the concert ran over-I didn't expect that much, but I took it...she's such a sweetie...I'm also babysitting later today from 3 to about 10 since she has to work. How cool-it's a short walk away and fun...time to relax...

A Quick Break

I'm about to go practice, so I need to organize myself, as my reeds are soaking as I type. After about a year, this is the basis I work off of when practicing. The goal is 20 min. on each particular item...

Warm Ups
Technical Etude: Salviani
Etude: Barrett Melodies
Excerpt: Mussorgsky "Pictures @ an Exhibition"
Rep: Haydn "Concerto in C" & Beethoven "Variations on 'La Ci Darem' by Mozart"

I really need to work on my skills, as well, so hopefully, there will be time for that. What can I remember right now:

The 7 Types of 7th Chords: Major, Minor, Dominant, Diminished, 1/2 Diminished, Major/Minor, & Minor/Major. Now, if I could just keep them all solid in my head, that would be great.
Intervals aren't a problem and I just have to run over that etude we were supposed to write, and then spend the majority of the time on the 7th chords. I think I'll do well on the final.
I also need to start writing my invention for theory, but that's another story...some people have said it's fun, but for me, it sounds very confusing and considering that my piano skills aren't very good when it comes to Bach, we'll see...

Hello.

Music: Josh Groban

What a day-made it to theory and found out and I have to write a 16 bar invention and finish analyzing one of the Bach inventions...should be interesting, considering I'm still a little shaky on what exactly an invention is, in terms of how to write one and such...
I really need to start reviewing all of my skills stuff for the final next week-I feel really bad not doing it, but it's kept getting shoved to the back burner, unfortunately. It's good stuff and challenging, however those damn 7th chords are just plain hard and I get them screwed up.
Worked on a few reeds and I really should go practice, but I've been shopping for the last few hours, so that's a bit tiring. Got a new pair of khakis, dress pants, and two new shirts. I love it. It was a little more than I wanted to spend, but pretty good, since Mervyn's usually has good sales and prices, thankfully. Plus, I still have money from my gig and the upcoming babysitting jobs to work with.
Poor Christopher is having tummy troubles-I completely empathize and sympathize...
Doug has been on and off of my mind-I really wish he was here w/ me. I don't know why I feel so drawn to him; maybe lately because of our last conversation, but still, after all this time (almost a year...), I still feel that "connection" to him and don't really know why. I never get that with people. The same sort of thing is there w/ 'Stina as well, but in a different way, since she's a girl. Is it some sort of male bonding thing or just my overactive psyche fantasizing and such? Gahhhh....I wish I knew...I do, however, know that I really get the chance to have a relationship w/ Doug someday.

I can breathe...

Today has gone by pretty quickly...I completely slept through skills because I just didn't feel good-I figure, do I get up and go and not be okay for the rest of the day, or try and rest...so, obviously, the latter won out. The Baroque noon concert was also quite interesting-I kept getting lost in the Zelenka...grrr...at least we ended together and it sounded pretty decent.
Went to Taco Bell w/ Heather and Lori after rehearsal and we had a good time. Heather is upset about some gigging issues and such, and I'm not sure what to do or say. I told her to talk to Julie about it, so hopefully, that will help.
Stravinsky was pretty cool-I really love that piece-so beautiful, but a bit long. Concert went well, w/ Liam doing sooooo well on the Ligeti-that piece is so cool, even the oboe part going up to high A. I can finally breathe a little. I'm happy.

I miss Doug and 'Stina a lot. I really do. My hope and wish is that we can get together over break and do something fun (besides just hangin' out) like go to 6 Flags or Cedar Point or something like that. Now, if they came out here sometime next year for some reason, that would be great...I'll have my car...why do they have to be so far away? And why am I still sorta' hung up on him?

2 Down, 2 to go...

Music: Enya

Monday: Was freaking out because I didn't have a reed to play my jury on and the concert...thankfully, I found Jordan and he saved me...jury went well, even though I sucked and got some info. on Northwestern from Kathy for Doug...I called him that night and sooo wanted to talk more than that short blip, but my mind was elsewhere. I really miss him...I have my hopes/dreams, but knowing my luck, they're just that...had Beethoven rehearsal @ 6 and it went really well.
Beethoven went well; the Mozart quintet canceled, so we were the 2nd group in the 2nd half. Christopher came and watched and mom and dad got to see as well, via internet. Back to Beethoven, things were really good. I was sooo nervous before and somewhat into, but I then decided that the music really needs to come out and I can't let my nerves get in the way of that, even though they're there all the damn time. I screwed up a few of my entrances, but I don't think anyone heard. The 3rd movement got to moving quite quickly and was fun. I really love that piece and wish I had some musician friends back home to work/play with...Afterwards, I watched Josh get a Pilates lesson from Rachel and got a hug from Kathy and compliments. Very nice.

Tuesday: No skills, theory was interesting-augmented 6th chords...I think I basically understand. Watched the noon concert today-Kim played this cool piece on alto flute and did a really good job and then watched the Ligeti - the oboe part is insane-high A... We're just playing the first, third, and fourth movements of the Zelenka in the Baroque Concert and the Dvorak is coming along. Stravinsky was pretty good; a couple of the parts are VERY romantic...sorta sad and sickening...I just wish my reeds would work this week...

Must go work on Modernism stuff...thank God that tomorrow is the last critical studies day...

The Plunge...

So, it's Sunday, and here I am sitting in the libaray, working away like mad on my Modernism final paper...grrrr...there's SO MUCH stuff I have to do...I hate busy work...my eyes are getting tired and I'm getting one of those computer headaches. Oh well, this is the last thing I'll ever have to do for that class.
So, the plunge is this BUSY week...check out the UPDATED, correct schedule:

Monday: Jury @ 1:30, Stravinksy Oboe Sectional @ 3, Beethoven rehearsal @ 6, Chamber Music Concert @ 8.

Tuesday: Class until 6, Reeds w/ Stuart @ 6-7.

Wednesday: Final Presentations in all Critical Studies classes...YAY!!

Thursday: Baroque Concert @ Noon, Reed Class w/ Lara @ 3, Orchestra Concert @ 8.

Friday: ????


Aiye...