Book of Days

Music: Cher & Enya

Wow, has this week ever FLOWN by...

Last Thursday night: art opening, back to Blake's for another round of "Battlestar Galactica," eating (burned and blackened) chicken wings and rice, as well as looking at some of his music. Didn't get home until 4 a.m, didn't sleep until about 4:30. I also successfully cancelled my lesson that day. Much tension relieved. All in all, I totally love those long nights chillin' out in front of the T.V. eating junk food. Much more fun w/ people one's own age.

Last Friday: got up around 9ish to finish packing and go to class. Thank God for Kathy - she drove me down to the flyaway and we had a nice chat about the whole coming-out-to-the-parents, which was helpful and encouraging. I owe her another babysitting gig...like that'll be a problem ;) The ride down was uneventful and I even had a good-looking guy sitting across from me. Also got to see both downtown and the Hollywood sign from the 405, as the smog wasn't too bad. The security line was really long, hot, and boring, like it always is. Since I was an hour early, I got to spend $9 on a stupid turkey and harvati cheese sandwich I only ate 1/2 of - talk about boring - sitting at the gate w/ no one to talk to...the flight was also uneventful, except that it was under 4 hours (yay!) and they ran the beverage cart more than usual, I think.

Last Saturday: woke up @ noon, did A TON of laundry, went food shopping.
Last Sunday: played @ church, went to Bennigan's, can't remember what happened - don't think anything else.

Monday: Went to lunch @ Wendy's (read: I paid) w/ mom, watched "The Corpse Bride," which is now one of my favorite movies. I love Tim Burton's art - totally original and appealing.

Tuesday: Almost died of boredom, but called Matt and we went shopping w/ Ashlyn and had a late meal. Had much fun. I love reconnecting w/ my best friends.

Wednesday: Got my haircut, took mom to the Chinese place in Fowlerville for lunch, worked @ church for a few hours on my piece, had dinner, played keyboard since Larry wasn't there (gotta love that adrenaline rush, especially when you know the music), practiced to the beat of both Dr. Beat and Joe's drumming upstairs, went to a movie (the new Harrison Ford one) w/ Matt and got more food afterwards. A well spent day.

Thursday: slow day - talked to Dr. Wenzel about beta blockers, got a prescription, as well as a recommendation for a book on working out for time-crunched people and a new way to try doing pushups so I don't kill my wrists. Cleaned @ home and then off to a fun photoshoot w/ Courtney for headshots and resume pictures. Later, went up to Corunna to hang w/ Sonya for awhile - much fun with lasagna, her boyfriend, and all of them being alcohol connoisseurs, as well as getting caught up w/ Sonya in general. Matt, her boyfriend, is a great guy and they fit together really well. I hope it's successful all the way, as they're expecting to get engaged this summer. Cory, their roommate is a cutie. And, they all have very fruitful sex lives, knowing Sonya, as well as the trips to The Lion's Den...I made my first one when I went home. WAY too much straight stuff is all I have to say, and there's no way I'm paying over $30 (if even that) for a porn DVD when it's FREE online. (Note to self: go to West Hollywood w/ Chris next time.) I sometimes wish I could say that I had such a great sex life, but, more often than not, I find myself not wanting to make the time for it, and honestly, my sex drive isn't really that high. Lately, it's been...non-existent. Scary? Yes and no. Worried about it? Not really. Wanting a screw-buddy? Yes and no. I think in a previous entry, I explained myself, so I'll refer back there. I also tried a sip of beer, but it wasn't regular beer - it was this raspberry stuff, but still tasted absolutely disgusting...if that's not even regular beer, how can people drink the "real" stuff? Ugh. Yuck. Gross. I can still say I'm totally NOT a drinker. All in all, a good day.

Today: Cleaned some more (I love how the dishes suddenly pile up when I come home) when I got up, went out for coffee w/ Matt and picked up a new book, entitled, "Wild @ Heart," which I'm actually looking forward to reading. Looks like something for the airport and plane ride. Hung out in Matt's office, worked on my piece, and had a good talk. There was some interesting weather, as a strong thunderstorm blew through rather quickly, and then it was off to meet Gretchen for a lesson, which went well.

So, now, I'm chillin' out in Dad's office, when I really should be working on my piece, but I really need to write in here, so, I am. It's been a really good week. I'm really glad I came home, as I think I needed the change of scenery and the time to relax and hang out w/ my friends. Matt is so great; he's one of my heroes, and although we have our differences, I do aspire to be like him in one way or another. I know it sounds like hero-worship, and probably is to some point, but I really don't have friends like him (@ least that I can think of right now) - sure, I have great friends that I love dearly, but none of them are really like him. I feel totally @ ease w/ him.

Oh, and before I forget, tomorrow night is going to be when it all comes out, literally. @ the moment, I'm not really nervous, but more just ready to get it over with. I'm not sure what else to say about it @ this point. I mean, what's there to tell? Matt will be there, so we'll see how everything goes. I know, I should've told them earlier this week, but @ least I'm telling them before I leave, so that's got to count for something. More on this subject when I get back to school.

Not much else to tell for now, except that I'm hungry and want another week off. I'm sure I left things out, but oh well. I also plan on giving Matt this URL, as I trust him. So, Matt, if you're reading this, just know that I don't censor myself here, as it's my journal; my other release, besides music, which sometimes is just the opposite. Whatever is in my head @ the moment comes out here.

Ciao until I'm back in L.A.!

So, I'm almost all packed, as the only things left to put in are my toiletries, reed stuff, and dirty clothes from today. I also need to pick the music that's going with me and get all of my electronic stuff put away as well, however, this will all happen tomorrow. I just need to find a ride down to Van Nuys (or, straight to LAX) and hope that I can leave my car here on campus over break.

So, I went to Panda for dinner, and whomever made the Kun Pao Chicken put WAAY too much spice in - Imean, some is great, but this was just over the top and almost ruined it for me. My mouth is still quite tingly and warm, so it's a bit aggravating. Grrrr...

Hmmm, what else...oh, I'm not taking the English horn home for break - too much to cart around for a week, and I plan on focusing solely on oboe and that damn composition, as well as applying for some summer jobs.

Not much else to say...I miss Chris, am happy I have my circle of friends, still think love is overrated, and can't wait for a week away from school - I'm feeling a little burned out @ the moment.

It's off to the art opening.

Long, Long Journey

Okay, so this week has FLOWN by (no pun intended)...

Monday: What an exciting day!! Ended up going shopping on Sunday night and getting this gorgeous, black, Geoffrey Beene sateen-finish dress shirt for a grand total of $27.05. I love sales...anyhoo, the trip down to L.A. consisted of Kathy (driving the suv), Allan, Christine, Melinda, and myself and was lotz of fun in itself. Interestingly enough, most of the time spent @ Disney was chillout time, as they were either setting up, or we were waiting to go on to perform. During the rehearsal, the acoustics were horrible (we couldn't hear the pulse), but things really cleared up in the performance, and I have to say that it was incredible to see, hear, and perform w/ 123 other CalArts musicians. Dinner was @ this GREAT place called Yang Chow over in Chinatown - lots of fun there, as well, with many musicians. Poor Allan ended up giving a rreeaallyy long tuning A during the performance, and ended up circular breathing towards the end. The audience response at the end wa s totally not what I (or, anyone else, for that matter, I think) was expecting - "tumultous applause" and a standing ovation...plus, we had the pleasure of performing with the lady who played the original pulse (Katrina Krimsky), as well as Stuart Dempster. We then proceeded to lose the suv on the way out - walking around the parking garage levels was amusing; Kathy blames her "Mommy-alzheimers."

~ Tuesday - no Allan, as he was @ Colburn auditions, but a pretty good day, nonetheless. Julie ran wind class, and we didn't play the Gonoud, much to my pleasure, so the whole time was spent on the C Minor Serenade. Baroque class was chaos, so that's all I'll say. I then realized that my jump drive was AWOL (with my almost complete social psych. midterm) and was extremely pissed and furious (throwing things, yelling, cussing, the whole nine yards) and I was surprised, as I haven't been that angry in quite awhile. So, I cooled down thanx to a venti hot chocolate and going to Blake's housewarming party - much fun there. I ended up rewriting half of the damn paper later that night around 1 am and then the rest the next afternoon.

~ Wednesday - not too bad, classes went well, as I said, I finished the psych. paper in the nick of time by running home to type and print. Then, I totally took the night off (I really was going to practice...seriously) @ Jeff and Erica's with Hyperdyne and Blake (who was sewing pillows), watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Top Chef" and then over to Blake's again for a "Battlestar Galactica" mini-marathon, after which I got home @ around 2 a.m. Even though I didn't get anything accomplished, musically, I think I got a lot done in terms of being me, having fun, and chilling out - I'm not used to being this stressed. The L.A. Times also had a pretty interesting, but good review of our performance.

So now, I got up @ 8, and having practicing for about 45 minutes and feeling very frustrated, as I'm totally not with it today. I'm thinking of cancelling my lesson and then doubling up for the week after break in terms of getting things done. I'm almost done w/ the last movement of the Saint-Saens, need to work on "Arethusa," and probably polish everything else in my folder. Argh. I need to pack tonight, as well. How fun. At least I should be able to chillout on the plane tomorrow, provided there aren't any drunk people, children, and it's relatively quiet. Oh damn; I just remembered I have to write that stupid piece for theory...bah!! Contrabassoon and English horn...in all seriousness, I'm sure I'll think of something, but I just hope I can incorporate enough 2oth century stuff to make it good enough for what it needs to get the good grade...so much for break...but, things should keep me busy.

Back to Music

I think I actually finshed my Latin music paper - thankfully, it doesn't have to be more than 3-4 pages (though, that's not the limit), but, as I just wrote in my email to mom, I couldn't find much on the subject that wasn't completely political and hard to read, understand, interpret, and reinterpret on paper. However, I did get the main points I wanted to get across, across. My only concern at this point is that it may sound too "journalistic," but we'll see. Now, it's back home to practice a little, I think.

Oh, yeah, before I forget: Allan's 6th L.A. Marathon run was today - I hope he did well (we'll find out tomorrow!) and made it to the performance of the B Minor Mass, which had Mark Menzies, Melinda, and Paul playing in it; hope that went well, too! Allan said that if he wins, he'd give me the car that's the prize, however, he also said to don't count on it...but it was a sweet thought, anyway. His run was for LACO's education/outreach program, so kudos for that!!

Ready, set, type

I'm back in the library, ready to start on my Latin America paper. This paper is proving harder than I thought, simply because I'm not really sure how to start it or even get some solid info. on my subject. I have an MSNBC article to go off of and the article in the reader, so, hopefully, that will be enough. In any case, 3 - 4 pages really isn't that long, and a bibliography isn't that hard, either.
I 'm excited - I get to play in Disney Hall tomorrow night! I love that hall so much...
I was going through my compositions today in a practice room and a lot of them are so cheesy and crappy - I mean, in my opinion, a good 75% are all the same, basically, which really sucks. However, I don't have a synthesizer to work with, so all I've been using to write with are the piano, my voice, and whatever I hear in my head...having that extra set of sounds would really help.

I went shopping tonight and got a new black dress shirt, as all of my dress shirts are too big. So, thankfully, Robinson's May had what I was looking for, and for a total of $27.05, I got a nice, black, Geoffrey Beene sateen finish dress shirt that fits very well and looks great. So, it looks like I'll be wearing all black tomorrow. But, why not...I look pretty good in black, anyway.

Okay, time to work. Also, got a reply back from Dr. Stevens and she didn't say much, so hopefully whatever I write will turn out okay.

One almost down, 2 more to go...

Music: Moya Brennan

I started my psych. midterm today and got about 3/4 of the way done - I had to stop, however, because I'm still not sure what the first question is asking, so I sent an email to Dr. Stevens. Hopefully, I'll have it done very soon. I now have to start my final paper for Performance and Resistance in Latin America, which will be on how Latin music has influenced and made its way into mainstream music. There's an article in the reader, which will be helpful, and hopefully, I won't have to do too much research, otherwise. Should be an interesting topic. That only leaves the starting of my piece for theory. I'm still at a loss as to what to write, but oh well. Hopefully some inspiration will come in the next few days and I can at least get a melody down. At least it doesn't have to be too long and I'm not a composition major...

I hope Allan's marathon goes well this weekend; I can't remember if it was today or tomorrow; I think it's tomorrow, so best wishes to him.

Today was weird talking to mom - I got pissed and hung up and then she called back about a 1/2 hour later and apparentely didn't notice I was pissed or got over it really quickly and we had an amiable conversation. I just wish things would work out financially...however, some of their problems are self-induced/self-remedial...more on this later.

After having this cool/weird techno dream starring Hyperdyne and myself, all my ideas and thoughts about that whole subject of being a secret agent in the future (or even in the present) have been back in my mind. Very interesting. Maybe that'll be my 2nd life...I must say that it would be very interesting, however, I'll skip the women, thank you very much...

Also, Moya Brennan gave a concert in Dublin yesterday for St. Patrick's Day - wish I could've gone, but the pics looked great!

I was browing over @ TONMO and am particularly interested in the the topic of prehistoric marine life...I must say that if I wasn't a musician, I would totally be a marine biologist. Enough said.

Not much else to ramble about now...oh, knock on wood, I have a good amount of reeds that are good and then some for backup that aren't so good, and then some for "In C."

I walk the maze of moments...

Music: Enya

So, there's a little less than a week left until break. That's a great thing, but not. I can't wait to see my kitties and have a week where I basically don't pay for anything!! So, here's more of my randomness:

~ Allan came to the "In C" rehearsal yesterday - apparently, he is going to play - this makes me happy. Very cool to have the whole CalArts oboe section there.

~ Last night, I went to hear Allan play a Baroque concert (one of LACO's Conversation series concerts) @ Colburn and traffic was horrible all the way down. We left @ about 4:05 or 4:10 and didn't get downtown until about 5:30-5:45ish. The concert was GREAT - Kathy came w/ Janice and we loved the Zelenka, which, for me, was the main reason for going and the highlight. We made it back in time for me to hang out @ the art opening for a little bit.

~ My lesson today went pretty well. I'm still working on "Narcissus" and I think starting "Arethusa," starting the next Barrett (B major - this one is hard), and finessing the last movement of the Saint-Saens, in terms of major rep.

~ I have 3 big projects hanging over my head right now: my final paper for my Latin America class (3 - 4 pages, plus bibliography, due Wednesday), my midterm paper for Social Psych. (due Wednesday), and my composition for theory (for contrabassoon and English horn), which is due the Tuesday after break. So, I feel a little overwhelmed, but I have the weekend to do things, which I hope/plan to utilize as fully as possible. The psych. paper shouldn't take too long, as it's just answering questions, and the Latin American paper should be relatively (knock on wood) easy as well. I plan on writing something about how Latin American music has found a way into mainstream music. My composition is going to be tonal and utilize harmonics, key clicks (thank you, Kathy, for that suggestion), some flutter tonguing for the bassoon part, and maybe some other things I can think of that will make the piece interesting. I just have to get something down that I like.

~ The "In C" concert @ Disney Hall is Monday and basically all I have planned, as I have to be to school @ 2:15 to get my ride w/ Kathy, and then head down for rehearsal and then performance. Should be exciting. I need to play dress up to figure out what I'm going to wear. It's either going to be all black or the maroon shirt I have. @ least I don't have to worry about reeds...

~ I asked Gretchen to send an email to the 'rents about the job situation and she sent a lovely letter with some good points explained very tactfully. I hope it doesn't stir the water in a bad way, though. That's the last thing any of us needs...

~ I talked to Sonya for a good 45 minutes the other day - she's engaged to be engaged to a (seemingly, as we haven't met) great guy named Matt and seems pretty happy. I'm happy for her and hope to see her if not over break, a little over the summer.

I think that's it for now...

~ Oh, yeah; Hyperdyne is totally obsessed w/ Patrick which is funny and a little annoying, but I'm happy he's happy.

Croi Croga

Music: "Clannad Chilled" (remix CD from "In a Lifetime: The Best of Clannad")

My lesson surprisingly went REALLY well!! I didn't do too horribly on the Barrett, like I thought I would, and Saint-Saens went great. So, for this week, it's Barrett (clean-up 12 and start on 13), Saint-Saens (3rd movement), and Britten (Narcissuss), as well as everything else that's in my folder.
Went to one of LACO's neighborhood concerts last night which was @ an African American church down by USC - it was interesting and humbling to see this world-class ensemble on the stage of a church gym, performing Mozart piano concertos (# 23 in A Major and #21 in C Major)...Very cool. Allan also wants me to lobby Kim into getting me a scholarship for the Hawaii Music Festival. I'd LOVE to go, but it'll probably have to be next year, as I plan on going back to Idyllwild this year and IDRS.
Um...what else did I want to say...oh, yeah, no job yet (like that's a disappointment), it's Michigan weather here (no joke! Apparentely there was snow in mountains around here...), and I'm getting more excited/freaked about coming home. And damn it, I HAVE to email Rachel about helping me put a workout together!!
I think my pizza is almost done...

Blah, again.

Music (Album): "Karma" (Delerium)

I've had this CD for about 2 weeks I think and haven't really listened to it yet, so while I'm filling my chocolate fix on Haagen-Dazs low-fat chocolate sorbet, it's providing a very interesting soundscape, which I'm not sure how to describe. It's electronic, with some layered female vocals, but other stuff, too.

I was going to write a whole bunch of stuff down, but now I can't remember it all...so, I guess I'll just write what comes to mind.

The 20th is steadily approaching, which is when we play "In C" down @ Disney Hall - cool!! TWICE in less than a year; not bad. Speaking of Terry Riley's piece...hmmm, it seems not too many people are happy with it, but that's a post for when I have more time. The jist of it is that everything is too Nazi-like, in terms of organization, seating, etc., and not free enough, like it should be. I'm not sure I'm "qualified" enough to comment, but I DO know that putting everyone in front of the brass is a bad idea...bah!

In oboe land, I FINALLY have my oboe back, but ironically, only because Allan had to take the Marigaux I was using down to Michelle because it simply wouldn't play on Monday after the rehearsal...I've never seen him that pissed; it was a little scary. At least he doesn't blame me; I hope. I mean, all the oboe did was get swabbed out, put in a case, and left there for a few hours. It didn't get bounced around or anything. We're at a loss. Anyway, I now have to reorient myself to my oboe, as I was finally sounding good on Allan's. Perhaps more on this later, if I remember and feel like it.
I'm on #12 in the Barret Grand Etudes which means I'm ALMOST DONE!! I don't think we'll finish them before break, but hopefully before my birthday. I'm also done (for now) working on the Mozart concerto and am planning on working on the first and last mvemts. of the Saint-Saens sonata, the 2nd and last mvemts. of the Haydn concerto, and 2nd mvement. of the Hindemith sonata to finish them all up by the end of this year.
Oh, I forgot to say - I DON'T like my theory class @ all...I want Michael Pisaro as my teacher again...I actually learned something (quite a few things, to be real) from that class.
Okay, I have lots more to say, but I need to practice for my lesson tomorrow. As always, more to come.

Ummm...

I'd planned to be in dreamland by now, as I hopped into bed 2 hours ago, however...

This week is just weird. If one looks @ my post from Monday, it's obvious that THAT was a busy day. Then, yesterday, I had all of my music classes, as it was my busiest day. And finally, I woke up @ 7:30 for no frickin' reason AGAIN (I did this last week, and then class was cancelled...), as I didn't really need to re-read the same thing I got up to read last week. Bah! At least I got a start on working on some reeds - I pitched 3 Tuesday night, which really pissed me off, not to mention that I think the clothes shredder, I mean, washing machine (how I MISS my front loader!! I want my Maytag Neptune!!) ate my one set of blue sheets and pillowcases - the damn things weren't cheap either, as they're, I believe, 380 thread count (I like my stuff to last longer than just a year or two), so hopefully, someone accidentely mistook them for theirs and they still exist...I'm using the red ones again, which is okay, but I really had my heart set on midnight blue this month...
To get back to today, tonight was even odd; I was supposed to meet Blake and Hyperdyne @ the ticket office to see this play in the mod, but then I didn't know what time, so I ended up hanging out w/ Heather in the reed room where we worked on reeds, as we usually do. Only a double reed player can appreciate the comraderie, friendship, understanding, as well as fun we have share working together, whether it's playing or working on reeds. It also appears that her friend, Machek (don't know real Polish spelling) from USC will be coming to CalArts in the fall, so that's cool.
This question has been haunting the back of my mind for awhile: when one falls in love and things don't work out, is it really normal to still have the other have a special place in the mind/heart, even though the relationship is a long-distance friendship? For those of you who know of whom and what I speak, yes, it still is on my mind, though definitely not as much. It just bugs the hell out of me when I feel like I'm still victim to the stupid feelings (though not as strong) that got me into that mental/emotional mess in the first place, when really, I shouldn't even really be thinking about it. I mean, what the hell is wrong w/ me?

I can't remember if I already posted this, but here it is again or for the first time: I think I've finally gotten to the point where I could handle a relationship of sorts, w/ these conditions:

A.) the physical aspect doesn't go beyond making out, if that.
B.) nothing too serious; the last thing I need is another chunk of time ruled by my unruly emotions.
C.) there is an understanding that school and music come first.

So, yes, I'm a little more at ease w/ the idea of relationships, but I'm still not going to go looking for one. I still don't see the real need for one, or why everyone thinks they're the greatest thing since birth control, but I might as well give one a try someday just to test the theories myself. Blah...with as much as I go to Michigan, that would be enough to kill something, I think, so who knows.

I was going to post more, but I'm tired, so more later. I can't believe I'll be home again in less than a month! Yay! & OMG!! WHAT AM I THINKING!! (You know what I'm referring to...)