Personality

Music: Celine Dion & Cher

So, I'm taking these crazy tests just for fun. Here are some of the results:

"How Boyish or Girlish are you?"
You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish. You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

"What's Your Blogging Personality?"
Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate. You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great. One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

"What Does Your Sleeping Position say about you?"
You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting, however, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

"What's Your Best Quality?"
Your best quality shines through in how creative you are. The fact that you're an inventive and creative person who usually has an abundance of imagination and ideas really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're an independent person who is usually able to handle things in a self-sufficient manner. You are a reliable and dependable person whom others can usually count on, too.

Amarantine

I have THE BEST news I've heard in awhile - Enya's new album, "Amarantine," will be released in late November, w/ a single release (bearing the same title) will be released in mid-November. Roma just posted on Unity, so it's from the official source...I can't find the words to put how I feel in context right now, but I can tell you, this has made my day. It came @ such an appropriate time, too, as I've been feeling a bit down and like my whole life is a complete mess. Oh well, time to think about that later - tonight, I'm going to practice and just enjoy myself. I called mom to tell her the news and she even okayed it for me to skip class and go to an Enya signing, if she comes to L.A. sometime in the near future...WAHOO!! Anyhoo, it's such a lovely and unique title and I'm sure this will be a great album, as usual.

Frustrated

In the world of Chris, things are pretty normal, if normal is what you can call it. My 2nd(!) lesson was yesterday and it went well. The only thing that bugs me is the fact that the things I practice, like the A# - B interval and going over the break w/ the half-hole, don't always come out the way I want them to. However, to counter that, Allan says he's very happy w/ the progress I've made and thinks I'm in good shape and to keep up the hard work. That's always reassuring to hear. I feel more dedicated this year, in a way, and I also feel that I've improved a little, in all aspects. The only thing now that's really pissing me off is my intonation - I've always prided myself for being in tune, but lately, I'm either sharp or flat - It seemed like I didn't have as many or any problems @ Idyllwild, but now that I'm at school, things are different and I can't seem to figure out why. I know my pitch center is still in limbo from going from 440 to 442 and then back again, and that my reeds may have a part of it, but it's still confusing. Regardless, I'll just have to keep working on it and do my best. It just...irks me...Having said all that, that makes my ensemble playing really sucky @ this current time, which isn't the best thing...
W/ regards to my last entry, I still feel a little confused though, on whether or not I'm doing the right thing. While sitting in the reed room working on reeds and practicing and going to class in general is good and sometimes really fun and such, I sometimes feel so...discouraged and like this isn't what I want to do; like I need to take time off, find myself, get settled down w/ a SOLID foundation of funds and ideas of what I want to do and who I am, and THEN go to school and work them out. The only problem is that I don't want to move back to Michigan and live @ home. But, that's the only alternative I see, if I were to choose that path, and then I'd probably never get back out here to school. A lose-lose situation...and, I don't think I'd be able to leave everything I'm muscially involved with and not see Allan and study w/ him for a year, or however long it took. I know he'd be so disappointed, but would want me to do the right thing. So, I really have no idea what the hell to do. I have my ideas and dreams in my head for the future, both far, intermediate, and present, but at the same time, I feel that they're not worth it, I'm not good enough to acheive them, and that I'm too much of an idealist rather than a realist. For now, I guess all I can do is just see how this semester goes and play it by ear and just try and cope w/ myself. As far as dreams go, I'm beginning to wonder if it's even worth trying for the ultimate goal of being a recording artist on a major label, creating and performing my own music. Maybe I should just quit music and do something useful and become like every other boring, soccer-mom American...

Regarding the job situation, well, let's just say it's a sore situation. I really need to go back and ask about my applications, but that requires gas in the car, and I'm already low (damn oil industry!! HELLO!! ALTERNATIVE FUEL SOURCES THAT ARE CLEANER, MORE RELIABLE, AND CHEAPER!! ARE WE THAT STUPID?), and that requires money I don't have. So, we'll see what happens...With everything I just said in the previous paragraph and w/ this, I'm just ready to quit. Really, I am. I feel like I have no foundation, which isn't a very good feeling.

So, I'm in the limbo w/ my moods right now; I'm actually calm and collected, as I'm sure most of this post makes some sense, but I'm also frustrated at the things listed above. Like I said, I really have no idea what the hell to do anymore.

Time gave both darkness and dreams to you...

Music: Silence...

So, the first week of school went pretty well, except I'm really tired, for some reason. I really need to practice, but my arm and wrist are a little sore, as well as my chops. Grrr...what a way to start out the year. Anyhoo, I'm playing principle oboe in the youth symphony @ College of the Canyons, so that's pretty fun. The prinicple flute, a 15-year old named Doug, is REALLY good - he whoops my butt when ornamenting the Water Music...Our conductor, a guy named Robert, is pretty sexy, too, for someone his age - I wouldn't mind getting to know him...
In more specific oboe talk, I feel I've progressed a lot in the last year, however, I still feel like I suck, especially in ensemble playing and in lessons; I don't get it; I don't know what goes on inside my head (does anyone...), but I don't like it; it's like this: I'll get the note(s) prepared and know what I want to hear and such, but it doesn't come out - granted, more practicing is a given, but still, I'm not a beginner, so why am I having so much trouble, lately? It's sooo frustrating, especially when you're younger than everyone else there and they're so much better. It's times like these (now) where I know I need to practice more and work harder, but at the same time, feel so discouraged, tired/not with it, and just sometimes hopeless, that I wonder why I'm still playing. Lessons w/ Allan as always inspiring in the fact that I know that someday I might be not as far away from his level as I am now and that he appreciates my efforts and thinks that I have it in me, but @ the same time, why can't I find that and use that as my internal drive? I also feel like whenever I try to "make music" it's just not working; like I have nothing left to give and I'm just playing notes - that's NOT what I want!! I mean, it's sad when I get more moved by listening to music rather than playing it, because I'm concentrating more everything but making music. Grr...Also, my intonation lately SUCKS!! I don't get it - I used to pride myself in high school on ALWAYS playing in tune, but now I feel like I can't do it - I'm always sharp and my perfect pitch does NOTHING to help; I feel so screwed over...speaking of perfect pitch, I hate the fact that it comes and goes and sometimes I feel like I'm losing it...it's scary...I'm so, um, not sure what to do or think at them moment except sleep and eat...
On a happier note, having my car is awesome; I LOVE having the freedom it provides, but also, I really enjoy having is sort of be my dictator of sorts - I don't want to buy gas all the time and pollute the environment more than it is, so I try to make only one trip a day - to and from school. That also makes me focus more on what I need to do, since I'm not just walking across campus anymore at any old time...

I miss my friends - Sarah, Kristina, Doug, and of course, my brother, Jordan, and sister, Sonya. However, I'm glad for the friends I have here, even though we don't see each other much or really hang out. But, it would be nice to just be able to call someone up and meet for coffee or go shopping and then see a movie on the weekend, or catch lunch everyday, if possible. I mean, it's just those little things. However, I DO feel that it's good to be away from people for awhile -distance does make the heart grow more fond, but, in my case, it allows me to be myself and to grow where I need to. So, all in all, I'm beginning to think that my lack of a "love/sex life" and smaller base of friends is a good thing - the friends I'm closest to really understand me, and that's a good thing. The interesting thing is that a good deal of them are a year or two younger than me and still in high school...

I miss my kitties!! Enough said here...That's the only love I allow in my life - family/friends. I think they're all one needs, anyway. I just miss cuddling w/ my kitties and taking care of them and watching them live their own lives - they make me happy and make me laugh - always a good thing....

In Enya land, there is drama galore...I know music IS dramatic, but this is ridiculous...people just don't get it...I won't go into detail, but it's not really pretty. The new album will probably come out in November, but, who really knows? In the meantime, we shouldn't be criticizing and complaining, and such. Grrr...
In a final music note, Doug is almost done w/ my piece; i'm excited...more on this later....

School has started...

Another update on my life:

~ School has started and things are going pretty well. This term, I'm only taking one critical studies class since I was on the waiting list for one and didn't get in (such is my luck w/ waiting lists...). So, that leaves my Wednesdays open until 4, which is pretty cool - I'll be able to work!! After that, we've decided to have oboe studio class from 6-7, which will be great.

~ Speaking of oboe, Gayle, the new freshman oboist and I went w/ Allan down to the Hollywood Bowl to hear him play principle in Tchaikovsky's 5th symphony - just like he did last year, but playing the 4th...All in all, it was a great time - Allan looks very dignified w/ glasses and, of course, the concert was amazing, as the Philharmonic always is. I ended up getting a free (otherwise $30) ticket and we actually moved down a few rows since the seats were empty - it's so great to see your teacher on those huge screens. The only interesting, or perhaps, odd thing was that I wasn't as moved by the last movement as I was when I first listened to the recording, but I think may be the fact that I'm getting more acquainted w/ the piece itself. I still think, however, that the theme in the major mode in last movement is awesome - it's simple, but so powerful...

~ I'm getting my car tonight!!!!! I'm SOOO happy it's finally going to be here - I can now stop bumming rides and get my life back!! Yay! I just don't really want to pay $3 for gas, but, oh well. Such is life living out here.

~ Other than that, I'm pretty satisfied w/ the way things are going around here, in my life in general (knock on wood). Hopefully, they will continue to only get better!

More to come, as usual.

Hello? Anyone There?

Not too much going on - the family is @ Disneyland today, so I'm all by myself. I really need to go to Stevenson Ranch and work on job applications, but I really don't like taking the bus...I took it for the first time the other day to the mall and it was okay, but it's just weird. I've never had to do anything like that before...oh, why can't they get my car to me NOW!! That way, I would be @ ease w/ so many things...grr...they better have it to me in 7 days, NOT 10, but knowing my luck, it'll be like 12.
Anyway, I'm getting excited about school starting - I need some routine in my life, again.
Oh, I talked to my brother last night and got this great quote: "Dude, I just need to go buy myself a dildo!"

Interesting Stuff...

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked anything else
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car

(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) been fired

( ) snuck out of parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x ) made out with a stranger (um, what defines 'stranger'?)
( ) gone on a blind date

(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school (I've skipped class, not a whole day)
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die

( ) had/have a crush on one of your LIVE JOURNAL friends
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar

(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
( ) been moshing at a concert

( ) been in an abusive relationship
(X) taken painkillers.
( ) love someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel

( ) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite
( ) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up

( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school/church

( ) own a fake ID
( ) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake

(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(X) been misunderstood
(X) pet a reindeer/goat

(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
( ) had detention-for being late.
(X) been in a car accident

( ) had/have braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight

(X) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes (don't deny it)

( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying

( ) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain

(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sunset with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach

( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey

( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis" in class
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them

(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) fucked in a park
( ) fucked in the bathoom
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something

( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes (when I was little)
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top

( ) had sex at a church
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone

(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 50 pairs of shoes (not yet)
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch

( ) played chicken fight
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused

( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed

(x) mooned/flashed someone
(X) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test.
(x) forgotten someone's name

(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

According to this website: http://www.doppelgriff.com/russian/strav.jpg, if I were a dead Russian composer, I would be Igor Stravinsky; "Known as a true son of the new 20th Century, my music started out melodic and folky but slowly got more dissonant and bizzare as I aged. I am a traveler and a neat freak, and very much hated those rotten eggs thrown at me after the premiere of "The Rite of Spring."

If I were a dead German composer, i would be Franz Schubet (http://www.doppelgriff.com/german)
"Franz Schubert is, without a doubt, the leader of the lieder. He composed over 600 songs in his lifetime, though he only lived into his early thirties. He did a good deal of chamber music and symphonic writing as well, though a good portion of this is incomplete. Schubert was rather secretive in his lifestyle and about his compositional processes; he was shy to show anything he didn't himself enjoy. Fortunately, he along with everyone else found his own melodies to be beautiful.
A few key works: "Die Winterreise," "The Trout Quintet," "Unfinished Symphony (#8)," "Death and the Maid"