NO MORE QUARTER TONE WALLPAPER PIECES!!!!!!

Narfism! What a busy day I had:

11 am - interview @ Bombay
12-2 pm - "In C" rehearsal
2-3 pm - work on reeds
3-5 pm - orch. rehearsal (Orsher...MORE on this subject later.)
5-6 pm - mens' vocal ens.
6-8:15 pm - SCVYP rehearsal
8:30 - 10ish - orch. concert
10ish - now - chill out w/ Melinda...then go home and crash.

More later.

Do I know myself? I'd like to find out...

Music: Silence

So, my weekend is a very interesting one, as I'm housesitting for Allan and Janice while they're in Phoenix (I'm doing this from their house!) and had a relatively busy day. I met Janice @ 11ish and she gave me the run down on what's going on here while they're gone and then I went over to school, grabbed a quick bite to eat and met Christine @ noon. We played a freebie (I think) gig for Kathy, since she couldn't make it because of a rehearsal for another orchestra in the antelope valley. Anyhoo, we left for Woodland Hills at noon and then got lost, as the directions weren't very clear - they said to take the 101 to Topanga Canyon...well, the lady forgot to put that it's the 101 west...we ended up going through Hollywood and down by Sunset, facing downtown L.A., and turned around after a quick call to Janice, confirming the way to go. We made it to the library at around 1:25ish and had ample time to run through the 4 duets and chill a little. The performance went pretty well, I thought. I wasn't really nervous, though I felt it creeping in at times. There was this one GORGEOUS viola player there...talk about a walking wet dream...wow....anyhoo, we then raced back to CalArts, as I had to grab my E. horn and then get down to COC for the rehearsal there. I made it there and into the wind sectional rehearsal @ about 3:25, and the rehearsal ended @ 4. During the time spent w/ Christine, I had a lot of fun and got to know her a little better. I thoroughly enjoyed working w/ her. Other than that, Alex, the bassoonist, and I were going to head down to REDCAT for the Latin music performance, however, when I called him, he wasn't up to it, so we're looking @ tomorrow night. So, I've just been relaxing a little bit.
I finally watched the DVD the 'rents made for me that had the Monterey Bay Aquarium show on it, as well as Enya's performance on "Live! With Regis and Kelly." Watching that documentary made me want to go back to Monterey in general and spend more time there. It's such a beautiful place, and there was certainly a plethora of beautiful men to compliment it. The only thing I think wouldn't work for me would be that I would get a little bored, artistically - I really love L.A. all around, as well as SoCal, but I think it's not for me, 100%, or maybe I just haven't found the right time in my life to feel that way. San Diego is beautiful as well, so I'm not ruling that out, either. I just really love northern California for a certain reason, perhaps because it reminds me of Michigan, in a good way. I know I've probably stated it before, but the ultimate place for me would be:
~ Close to the beach (walking distance, preferably).
~ In or near a forest, for the closeness of nature/natural beauty, privacy, and tranquility.
~ Near a city.
~ Somewhere where I get a decent four seasons, or I can at least tell the difference between them.

If that didn't/doesn't work out, I could live in the city - the dream there would be a loft/condo somewhere that would be completely mine to co-design and decorate. To get back to the Monterey idea, I really love it there - I totally want to be a member someday if I have the money and could do it. I would also love to do something musical with them that would benefit both of us, but I'm not sure how that would work. Who knows? Only time...

For some sadder news, I'm feeling pressured by the 'rents to get a job. I really don't want to get into it now, but it's just frustrating and I hate that both sides of the story are 100% relevant...grrr...however, Bombay must have liked something about the hours I put down, since I've scheduled an interview for Monday @ 11. Allan did tell me not to work too much and, believe me, that won't be a problem. I feel like I really slacked last term and I need to make up for that. I didn't practice tonight because I'm a little dazed, but tomorrow I definitely will, as well as work on reeds. So, who knows what the job world has for me? The two paychecks would be nice...I need money and I've gotten much more intelligent about my spending. Sure, I get a lot of take out and such, but that's kind of a necessity, as I need food. Plus, there's stuff at home and I do eat a school quite a bit.

To talk about food, I really need to eat healthier and start getting into shape. I'm trying to decide if I should email Rachel about pilates and/or yoga or what...I can't look like the way I do now for much longer w/out going bonkers and doing something stupid, like skipping meals or something else drastic. I also wonder if genetics are part of my problem or if it's just upbringing as well as other issues I can control...blah!! I wish I had the energy and motivation I had last year to work out - if I could just have that, plus the knowledge Iand such I have now, I think I'd be in good shape to get in shape. However, the damn stress (different types) and depression doesn't like one to feel mentally sound, which causes the evil gaining of weight - it's a cycle that seems like it can't be broken, which makes everything worse. On top of that, sometimes, I really wish I wasn't Asian, or if I had to be, that I had the typical twinkie boy genetics. And, quickly regarding that Asian issue, I thought I didn't have problems like that anymore, but more and more, as I just stated, I find myself wishing I wasn't Asian; it seems like the tables have turned, slightly - I'm pretty okay with being gay, but now I'm having issues w/ my genetics? What's up w/ that? I mean, I CAN'T bring this up to the 'rents, as I know they'll have a fit, so I'm @ a momentary loss as to what to do.

After a few moments of reminiscing, I remember something Lori and Kathy both told me last year after the Baroque Concert in which I played a Vivaldi piece with Melinda and Tisha: "Hey man, you were kickin' major oboe ass up there!!" Such comments make one feel good and humble. I hope that I can find the motivation and willpower to make things happen so I can feel as free as I did during that concert, if I'm remembering it, correctly. Sure, there was adrenaline and a rush, but it was good.

At the moment, I wish I could soak in a hot tub with music, chocolate, mood lights, and a good book or a boyfriend. It's odd, as everytime I'm in someone else's house alone, I feel incredibly lonely and I'm obviously, like a lot of things, not sure why. Like right now, I'm really wishing I had a guy to call my own...

Well, I think that's everything I want to talk about for now. More to come, as usual.

I love Pasculli

Music (Album): "Sound in Motion" - Eugene Isotov

This is a great album of some great oboe literature - as well as some amazing playing. I just need to get this in regular format, as well as all of Dr. King's albums and the Bart Schneemann album. I've also decided that my "classical" and "new age" libraries need to be expanded, so I'll have to ask for some CDs for my birthday.

Kathy's recital was today and it was great. She played so well and it was a very diverse program, as well. She also played a duet by Telemann w/ Allan and that was super. Next year is my recital, and of now, this is what I have planned:

L.V. Beethoven: Variations on 'La Ci Darem' (w/ Kathy and Allan, or maybe the new oboist...)
Nancy Rumbel: Delicate Balance
Doug Merar: Untitled
Hyperdyne: (whatever he writes for me)

However, those Bartok folk songs and the little Bach G minor sonata might appear in there, as well. For my graduation recital, my goal is to play "Omaggio A Bellini."

Other than that, I just got the part for the Orsher piece we're supposed to rehearse tomorrow (note that it's a holiday and we don't have school but there's still a 2 hour rehearsal...) and all I can say is "what the heck was he thinking?" I mean, the damn thing is ridiculous, as it's full of quarter tones, articulated runs (the tempo is quarter note = 60, but still, they're quintuplets and 32nd notes), as well as having a good portion in the third octave, and there's practically no place to take a break or breath...grrrr...

Blah.

Music: Ambient Generation

So, Singles Awareness/Consumer Commercialism Day went over with no problems - I played a lot and then went to TJ's, bought some pasta, sauce, and meat and made myself a nice dinner. Other than that, nothing interesting. So, I'm just talking to Chris and listening to music right now...

Lots of Music!!

Music: Micah Kephart Band

This is a great album - Micah has a great voice - so soulful and the music is awesome. I, of course, love the covers of the hymns, but the original material is cool, too. I think my favorite song @ the moment is "Tonight."
So, I'm going through my music folder right now, and this is everything that will be played at sometime this semester:

Telemann: 4th Paris Quartet in G minor
J.S. Bach: Fugue XIV (arranged for Oboe, Oboe d'amore, Eng. horn, Bassoon)
Mozart: Gran Partita (Oboe II)
Mozart: Serenade No. 12 in C Minor (Oboe II)
Poulenc: Trio for Piano, Oboe, & Bassoon
Beethoven: Quintet for Oboe, Bassoon, & 3 Horns (Coming Soon, hopefully...)
Mozart: Concerto in C
Britten: Six Metamorphoses after Ovid
Barrett: Grand Etudes

SCVYP Music (all Oboe I):
Gershwin/Arr. Robert Russell Bennett: Porgy and Bess (Selections for Orchestra)
Rachmaninov/Edtd. Clinton F. Nieweg: Vocalise
Debussy/Arr. Alfred Reed: Clair De Lune
Ravel/Edtd. Carl Simpson: Pavane pour une Infante defunte
Copland: Hoe-Down, Buckaroo Holiday, Saturday Night Waltz from "Rodeo"

PLUS, Allan told me to bring anything to him that we haven't finished, as well as anything I want to work on...so, that leaves the 1st/3rd movements of the Saint-Saens sonata, the last 2 movements of the Haydn concerto, as well as 2nd movement of the Hindemith sonata. I also bought Bartok's "Three Folk Songs from County Csik" and Pasculli's "Omaggio A Bellini," the latter I hope to perform on my graduation recital. So, as one can see, that's a lot of music. The Copland are the real thing, too, so I've got my work cut out for me in those...

On a darker note, I really wish I had some more gay friends...I'm totally not complaining about the ones I have, but Christopher is upstate and even though I see Hyperdyne regularly, it still would be nice to have a few more. Not that there's anything wrong w/ straight friends, but it's nice to have someone to relate with on different levels. I also was scared tonight as I was walking out of Panda Express w/ my dinner - for a brief moment, I wished I had a serious boyfriend...I'm not sure what to think.

And the beat goes on...

Not too much going on - here's what I've been up to lately:

~ Going to Allan's concerts
~ Going to everyone's recitals
~ Taking Thursday nights off to go have some social time @ the art openings
~ I talked to Julie about beta blockers and then set up an appt. w/ a counselor in student affairs to talk about it.
~ Ordered some more reed thread, Chudnow staples, music, and my theory text. They should all be here, hopefully, tomorrow or Tuesday.
~ After much thought, I've decided to go home for spring break, like last year. I'm still debating whether or not to come out then, however...I do know I have support, so that's a good thing, but it doesn't make the fact of the matter any easier...aaaaahhhhh!!
~ I, a gay man, went up a vagina this last Thursday, w/ both Pablo and Blake at the same time...okay, before you all start freakin' out, there was an art exhibit in the Stevenson Blanche gallery called, "The Womb" and, sure enough, that's exactly what it was. It reminded me of the childhood spent making forts with blankets and chairs in the living room, in a way, as well as camping. I can't really describe it, as I think it's one of those moments where one just had to be there to get the full impact. However, I can say that I've now been up a vagina...
~ Wondering if keeping certain friendships alive is pointless since we're going in different directions and aren't geographically close (within a reasonable hangout distance) no matter where I am.
~ I want to try playing some bass oboe and/or heckelphone.


This stuff isn't so new:
~ Still Pondering my existence
~ Still wishing I could decide what I really want to do w/ my musical life and then have the love, drive, and determination to get through school w/ as good of an education/experiences I can get and then make my career (whatever it is) happen.
~ Still wondering why I can look @ a walking wet dream of a guy and totally want to jump him, but then suddenly realize sex is the last thing on my mind, even though I want it with him...

So, as one can see, there ARE some new things in my life...they're small, but still new. And, oh my gosh, I can't believe I forgot to say it back when...I DID see "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." My complaints are: the score (it was acceptable and worked, but why couldn't they have gotten someone who would've respected John Williams' work and integrated it more? ) and the fact that these last 2 movies have had different directors and such - why can't they just keep someone? Also, they left out some things, as usual, so I don't see why they can't make a 3 hour movie like Peter Jackson has...I mean, come on...other than that, it was great, as we saw it in IMAX.

Blah.

Well, the first week of the normal schedule is almost done. And, for some odd reason, I feel (knock on wood) much better - I have a more consistant schedule to follow, as well as deadlines. So, I'm in a somewhat better mood now. It's tricky, however, with SO much music to learn and perfect in this semester. I really need to kick myself in the ass to get working on it all and make sure I'm in top shape. I know that sounds like a pep talk, but it's true. The hard part will be making it happen in the right way so I actually get things done and done well. I'm not in the mood to go to into detail about anything else, so I guess I'll just end here for now. I'm reading some great stories, which keep my imagination going 100%, as always. I'm also getting sick of bad Enya reviews - I really wish people who reviewed music in any way that was available for the general public to see had a degree in music or had a strong background in theory, or something like that, so that we can get an EDUCATED opinion, as well as a preferential one. I mean, just because "Amarantine" sounds like Enya doesn't mean it's a bad thing...who really wants to see her branch off into something more mainstream (shudder) or just plain weird (CalArtian music)? I mean, yes, she could do some things differently, but that's not up to anyone but her, Nicky, and Roma. Okay, I'm done for now...